


Back To You

by justanoutlaw



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sweet Home Alabama Fusion, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Lust, Miscarriage, More like Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers Again, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, separated, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-05-28 12:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15048938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw
Summary: 5 years ago, Belle left Storybrooke and became a New York Times Bestselling Author. Now, she's returning to Storybrooke to try to convince her husband to finally give her the divorce she's been begging for. However, the longer she spends in town...the more she realizes...maybe that's not what she wants anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I did a version of Sweet Home Alabama with Swanfire before but could never finish it and to me, it just feels more suited for Rumbelle and have lots of ideas for it. I would call this, Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers Again. I promise, they are endgame, but some pain has to happen first. There will be flashbacks to the good times and the bad. They're just very stubborn and we'll see why they ended up where they are today.
> 
> There will be minor Swanfire in this, because I love them, along with some Gold/Detective Rogers friendship. Also, Colette is alive in this because if you've ever seen Sweet Home Alabama, you know that Melanie's mother plays an important part to the story. Anyway, please tell me what you think! And feel free to send these idiots questions in my Tumblr inbox.  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask

Belle pushed her way through the busy New York City sidewalk, doing all she could to not scream “Move it or lose it!” She was going to be late. Jefferson would argue that it was her book signing, she could be as late as she wanted and her fans would wait up for her. She disagreed, it wasn’t fair to them. They so patiently waited for her to release this next book and they deserved her time.

 

She finally made her way to the back of the Barnes and Noble, knowing going through the front would be a disaster. Her best friend Ariel stood there, shaking her head.

 

“You ran all the way here in heels?” She asked. “How?”

“Lots of practice. Do you have a mirror?”

 

Ariel tossed her one and Belle quickly fixed her hair and makeup. She let out a deep breath and handed it back to her. Ariel rubbed her back and pushed open the door. They were greeted by the usual workers who were no longer so starstruck whenever she walked in. A few even recognized her from back when she wrote her first novel in their café area and they just viewed her as their Belle. It kept her humble.

 

As she reached the main lobby, she saw the swarms of people and her heart skipped a beat. She still wasn’t used to so many people knowing her name and wanting to see her. For so long, this had been her dream and she still wasn’t so sure how it was a reality.

 

“Good evening everyone,” she called out and the crowd cheered. “I want to thank you so much for your patience on my next book. I know it’s been a couple of years, but I think you all have found it was worth it.” Quite a few called out agreements, which made her blush. “So, without further ado, let’s get this thing started.”

 

The manager of the store had everyone line up as best as she could and Belle plopped down at the table, a pile of her books next to her, though most of her fans already had the newest ones in their hands. She had learned some tricks to not let her wrist stiff as she signed, doing some discreet exercises as she waited for the next person to move forward. She took some selfies and answered questions, some wondering what her next book would be about. The thought alone scared her, because she didn’t even know and her publisher was already trying to give her a deadline for ideas.

 

Towards the end of the line, a petite redhead approached the table and held out her book, which was actually Belle’s first. “Hi,” she said. “I’m a huge fan. You’re my favorite author.”

“Well that’s so great to hear, thank you.” Belle flipped open the worn front cover, pleased to see that it was clear she had read the book so many times. She remembered back to when she first started writing, what Sampson had said to her.

 

_You’re about to write someone’s favorite novel. No matter how big of a failure or a success, that much is true._

It had stuck with her throughout each other her works and every time someone told her that her book was their favorite, it reminded her why she kept at it.

 

“Who should I make this out to?” She asked.

“Anna.” The girl paused a moment as Belle began to write her inscription. “I love all your books, but the first just stands out to me. The love story between Lacey and Rumford…I mean, he’s such a flawed character but she loves him anyway, even when she has to let him go.”

 

Belle paused, swallowing a bit, before continuing to sign.

 

“Do you think you’ll ever write a sequel where they end up together again?”

She blinked a few times, before shutting the book and handing it back to Anna. “I think my time writing about Lacey and Rum’s love story is over for now. I quite like how I finished it, but I’m glad to see how much you enjoyed it.”

 

Anna frowned, but quickly thanked her before heading off. Belle let out a shallow breath, doing her best to not let her mind wander back. She shook it off and called out for the next person. She wasn’t paying much attention when the book was put down in front of her. She flipped it open, grabbing her pen.

 

“Who should I make this out to?”

“How about your fiancé?”

 

Belle looked up and found Jefferson down on one knee in front of her. Her eyes widened. He had said he couldn’t even make it tonight, he had a show and…fiancé?

 

Before she could say anything else, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a diamond ring. Belle nearly fell out of her chair, but suddenly, Ariel was at her side, holding onto her arm.

  
“Belle, it has been amazing 2 years,” Jefferson said. “I never thought I could meet someone as smart or amazing or funny as you, but I did. I can’t imagine my life without you and I just want to spend the rest of it with you. So…what do you say?”

 

Her heart beat faster and she could feel all eyes on her. Her breathing hitched and she looked behind Jefferson, he had been the last one in line. A part of her wanted to scream yes, of course she’d marry him.

 

But then the other part of her reminded her why she couldn’t. Why she always felt a twinge of guilt every time she went on a date with him or kissed him or told him that she wanted to wait until marriage to make love.

 

They could never get married. At least not now.

 

“I…I need to go,” she mumbled. She turned to her fans, who were clearly excited to see their favorite romance author find a love story of her own. “Thank you so much for coming today. I wouldn’t be anywhere without you guys buying my books.”

 

With that, she ignored Ariel’s calls for her to stay and she bolted out of the room, heading out the back and into the alleyway. She leaned against the wall, her stomach going up and down, as if she were going to be sick. A moment later, Jefferson appeared, putting a hand on her arm and looking at her with such concern, which made her break down into tears.

 

“Hey, hey, hey.” He gathered her into his arms. “What’s wrong?”

She sobbed into his shoulder. “I can’t…I can’t marry you.”

“But why? Belle, I know we didn’t discuss this, but I love you…”

“That’s not enough,” she whispered. “There’s…there’s something I haven’t told you.”

 

She pulled away, wiping her tears and looking up at his confused face.

 

“I…I’m married.”

Jefferson tilted his head. “What?”

“I got married when I was 22.”

“So…this entire time…”

“Look, it’s not like he doesn’t know I’ve moved on. We’re separated.”

“That’s what they all say,” he mumbled angrily.

Belle sighed, knowing how this looked. “No, I mean it. Look, we were married for 2 years and then I left. I filed for divorce and have been trying to get him to sign the papers but he won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because he knows it drives me crazy! He knows I just want to move on with my life!”

 

There was a pause and she could tell that Jefferson wasn’t sure if he believed her. A part of her couldn’t blame him. She had spent their entire relationship lying to him, he didn’t know her real last name, he didn’t know her marital status. It wasn’t fair and she knew it. But what was she supposed to do? Start every date with “By the way, I’m still married, but only because my husband won’t sign the papers?”

 

“I’m really sorry,” she said, when he still didn’t respond. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, Belle, I love you. This doesn’t change that, but…obviously this relationship can’t move forward until your marriage is over.”

She cringed. “I know that.”

“So…whenever you figure it out, call me.”

 

Before she could say anything else, he was gone. Belle leaned up against the alley wall, shutting her eyes. She knew what she had to do.

* * *

 

By 10 AM the next morning, she was passing the sign that said “Welcome To Storybrooke”. Entering that town again was like going through a time warp, nothing ever changed. Granny’s Diner was still in need of a serious paint job (though she probably still made the best burgers in the state), the kids were all wearing their matching uniforms to go to the one school in town and Sheriff Swan’s yellow bug was still being used rather than an actual squad car.

 

Then there was Gold’s Pawnshop, which was closed on Sundays. She quietly cursed herself and kept driving. Her cell phone rang and she pushed the button in her car so she could talk to the person on the other line.

 

“Hello?”

“Hey Belle, it’s Ariel.”

“Ari, hey. I’m sorry for taking off like that last night.”

“I figured why. Listen, Jasmine and I are at the bakery. Swing by and have a coffee with us.”

“I can’t. I’m in Maine.”

There was a pause. “Oh…”

Belle let out a sigh. “Yeah.”

“Good luck.”

“I’m going to need it.”

 

10 minutes later, she pulled up in front of the salmon colored house she had once called home. She got out of her car and just took it in for a moment. It was the one thing in town that looked different, almost like…no. It couldn’t be.

 

The door to the house opened and he stepped out, wearing his usual designer suit. There was no denying that Sampson Gold was a handsome man, it was part of the reason she had fallen in love with him in the first place. He looked good…though, a little different. Despite knowing that he had only just had his 45th birthday, he was using a cane. He made his way to the top porch step, peering out at her.

 

“You need directions or something sweetheart?”

“What I need is for you to get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce?”

He pushed up his sunglasses and did a doubletake. “Belle?”

“The one and only.” She reached into her bag and pulled out the packet of papers. “Can we just get this over with? You can look it over, but like I told you, I don’t want anything.”

 

He stared at her for a moment and she put her hands on her hips.

 

“What? Speak!”

He narrowed his eyes and headed down the steps, slowly but with confidence. “You show back up here after 5 years, without so much as a hey Sampson, remember me? Your wife. Or a…hi, honey.” He smirked. “Looking good, how’s the family.”

She scoffed. “You expect me to tell you that you look good?” Even though, he did. Oh God, how he did.

“They laugh at that wherever you’ve been?”

Belle rolled her eyes as he got closer. “You know where I was and don’t even pretend you spent all this time missing me.”

“Well, I missed you alright. But with this range, my aim is bound to improve.” She glared up at him and he raised his hands. “You’re the only one allowed to joke?”

“Look, I have spent so much time sending you these papers, having my lawyer talk to you. Do you know how much he charges an hour?”

“Well, if you had simply gone to me…”

“Oh, right, that’s how it works.”

“Look, I didn’t sign them before and I won’t now.”

 

He turned on his heel and headed back up the steps. Belle let out a scream and chased him up them.

 

“Why won’t you just do this for me?”

“Have you even gone to see your parents since you got back here?”

“That’s my business.”

“They’re the only family you have.”

“Why do you suddenly care about my family?”

Gold turned around. “You go see them and maybe we’ll talk about this divorce.”

“Will we? Because something in me doesn’t believe you!”

“Oh what, my word isn’t good enough for you now?”

“Well, considering all the promises you broke!”

 

His face faltered and he swallowed, before regaining his composure and walking into the house. Belle narrowed her eyes and dug through her purse, finally locating the key. She used it and walked inside, much to Gold’s surprise.

  
“Trespassing now, are we?”

 

Before Belle could respond, there was a knock at the back door and a few moments later, Sheriff Emma Swan appeared in the room. She looked over at Gold with a smile.

  
“Hey Sam, Neal and I were wondering if you could watch Henry tonight?”

“I’d be happy to, as soon as you escort this woman off my property.”

Emma turned and saw Belle, an even bigger smile breaking out. “Belle! I didn’t know you were back.” She wrapped her up in a big hug, which Belle returned.

“I’m not back…just here for some unfinished business.”

“We sure have missed you.” She pulled away. “Henry asks about you a lot, he’s getting bigger and needs more book recommendations.”

“Well, I’d be happy to give you some.”

“Emma,” Gold interrupted. “If you could do your job for once, this woman broke into my house.”

Emma raised an eyebrow. “You can’t just break into people’s houses.”

“I didn’t break in, Emma.” Belle held up her key. “I used my key.”

“Well, you still can’t go into other people’s house uninvited. I’ll have to escort you out.”

“If you get him to sign these papers, I’ll let you run me out of town.”

 

Emma still looked confused, so Belle reached back into her bag and pulled out the papers again. Emma looked from them, back over to her father-in-law.

 

“A bill of divorcement? I thought you said you took care of this.”

“I thought I had,” he whispered.

“Obviously not,” Belle interjected.

“Well, if you two are still married, then this is still her house,” Emma said. “This is just a domestic dispute.”

Gold threw his hands up in the air. “Emma!”

“You know that, Sampson.” She sighed. “You know, I get that a lot of the town never saw you two as right…but I did. Always wondered what split you two up.”

 

The two looked away and Emma sighed yet again.

 

“I’ll drop Henry off later tonight. It was good seeing you, Belle. Hope you stick around a bit.”

 

With that, she walked out. Belle smirked triumphantly and turned back to her husband.

 

“Well?”

“I told you my terms, sweetheart.”

 

Belle let out an irritated sigh, before walking out of the house. This had better work.  


	2. Chapter 2

_7 Years Ago_

Belle stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her dress a final time. This wasn’t how she pictured her wedding as a little girl, there was supposed to be a big cake and the church her parents were married in. Sampson had already had the big wedding though, with Milah. He had said he’d be more than willing to do it again, but Belle could tell it wasn’t really what he wanted deep down. So, she had agreed to a simple backyard wedding at his place, with just her parents, his son, daughter-in-law and grandson present.

 

She allowed her mind to wander back to the first time she had ever met him. She had been living in Storybrooke for about half her life, yet had never ran into the mysterious lawyer/pawnshop owner. A little after her 19th birthday, she returned from college and her roommate, Emma, decided to introduce her to her future father-in-law. Sampson was handsome, older and she fell head over heels instantly.

 

Most of the town didn’t get what she saw in him, her father included. They missed the days when she dated Gaston Theroux, despite not knowing how unhappy she was in that relationship. Sampson made her smile, he respected her studies. She’d come home from Boston U every other weekend and he’d come visit her on the alternating ones. The proposal came the day she returned from her graduation and she couldn’t wait to become Mrs. Gold.

 

“Honey,” Colette stepped into the room and paused, taking in her daughter’s dress. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, Mama.” Belle turned to her and smiled. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. As long as this is really what you want.”

 

Belle had to hold back a sigh. She loved her mother more than life itself, but they had such different ideas about the future. Belle wanted to be an author, but felt she could do it in Storybrooke. Colette wanted her daughter to leave this small town and never look back. Getting married so young is what she had done and now she was miserable. Belle didn’t plan to be, though. Sampson Gold was not Moe French. They were going to be happy, they were going to build a life together.

 

“It is.” Belle took her hands. “I love Sampson and he loves me. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Colette let out a sigh. “Oh my darling Belle,” she whispered, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “Once you become a mother, you’ll learn that you always worry about your child.”

Moe walked in, interrupting the precious moment between mother and daughter. “Are you ready yet?”

“Yes, Dad.” Belle cleared her throat and walked over to him, taking his arm.

“Not too late to run.”

She rolled her eyes. While Colette worried about Belle’s safety, Moe just hated Sampson because he owned eighty percent of the properties in town, his flower shop included. “I’m not running.”

“I better go take my seat,” Colette said. “See you out there.”

 

She left the room and Moe reluctantly escorted his daughter down the stairs and into the backyard. She didn’t even see the other people there, just her groom. He was wearing a tux instead of a suit that day and looked just as dashing as ever. When Moe finally let her go, she took hold of his hands and stared into his eyes. This was her future, this was what she wanted. Sampson was supportive, he cared about her and her dreams. He wanted her to become a successful author. They’d be Storybrooke’s power couple.

 

She could hear their ordained friend, Archie, go through the vows, but she only listened hard enough to know when to say “I do.” She silently thanked him for leaving out the “If anyone has any objections” bit, not wanting to tempt fate with her parents.

 

“By the power invested in me by the state of Maine, I now pronounce you two husband and wife,” Archie said. “Sampson, you may kiss your bride.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he said with a bit of glee in his eye.

 

He leaned in, kissing her and Belle deepened it, throwing her arms around his neck. It was official, she was now and forever, Mrs. Gold.

 

_Present Day_

Emma made her way into the house, ruffling her son’s head as she walked past him. Henry was such a reading buff, it surprised her. She and Neal were more art than book people, but somehow the 10 year old could go through a dozen of them a week. She was proud of him, nonetheless, it was fun to brag to her friends that while most kids would be out causing trouble, her son could be found with his nose buried in a book. The first time she did that with Ruby, she realized she was becoming her own mother with her art…but strangely, she didn’t mind.

 

She entered the kitchen and pecked her husband on the lips. He grinned and handed her the cup of coffee in his hands. “What’d Dad say?”

“He’s got no problem watching the kid.”

“Awesome.”

“But um, Belle was there.”

Neal arched an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Emma nodded. “She came to get him to sign the divorce papers…I thought they were already divorced. Didn’t you tell me that?”

“I told you that Belle sent them to him.”

“Neal.”

He sighed. “I knew what you’d say, you’d bug him to sign them.”

“Well, it’s what she wants.”

“I know, I know. And to be honest, if I were him and had messed up so badly with you…I’d be willing to give you whatever. He has his reasons, though.”

“And they are?”

“That, I don’t know. I used to think that he didn’t want to be the man with two divorces, but he squashed that. Deep down, he just loves her.”

Emma frowned. “I get that, I do. Why did they even split up anyway? I know your dad was having some problems, but she was willing to be by his side.”

“Sometimes there’s only so much that a person can put up with. We didn’t see how bad he got until the accident. Belle lived with him every day.” He let out another sigh. “I better go talk to him.”

 

Neal took Emma’s bug out and headed the 5 minutes down the road to his father’s. For so long, they were all each other had. Milah and Sampson divorced when Neal was 10 and his mother’s presence in his life was sporadic at best, especially after she got remarried to a navy captain. Which meant it was his father that supported him when Emma got pregnant when the two were only 19. He gave his blessing for their wedding and helped them with Henry, alongside Mary Margaret and David Swan.

 

Which meant that Neal had no problem stepping up and helping his own father after everything went wrong. Even before Belle left, he must’ve spent a week at their house after the tragedy, trying to keep everything together. Then when she was gone and his father got hurt, he moved in with Neal and Emma temporarily so they could help take care of him. Sampson would never be alone, not if Neal had anything to say about it.

 

Even if it sometimes was the opposite of what his father wanted.

 

Gold was doing some paperwork when Neal walked in. He didn’t even have to look up to know it was his son. “Emma told you.”

“I would’ve figured it out eventually.” He plopped down across from him. “So, did you sign them?”

“What do you think?”

“Papa.”

Gold looked up. “Neal.”

“This is what she wants,” he said gently. “Don’t you think you should give it to her? It’s been 5 years.”

“I can’t. I can’t just sign this and let it be over.”

Neal frowned. “I know you love her,” he whispered. “Sometimes, that’s just not enough.”

“If I could see a sign, that this is really what she wanted…if I could feel it in my bones…then I’d sign.”

“What’s that going to take? Don’t you want her to be happy?”

“Of course I do! That’s all I ever wanted!”

“Then maybe that requires letting her go.”

 

Gold looked down at his paperwork and blinked a couple of times. The truth was, he knew that Belle was happy. She had been happy before he screwed up and then when she left, she was happy again. And that hurt, because he knew there was no one else to blame but himself.

 

_6 Years Ago_

They lived in a state of married bliss for a year. They had sex with the doors open, in almost every room of the house. The two were like rabbits, barely able to keep their hands off one another. He took her on a honeymoon to Europe so she could see some of the best libraries and read amazing literature. Back home, they went on a date night at least once a week, it was newlywed bliss and he never wanted it to go away.

 

On their anniversary, he arrived home that night with a bottle of wine, a single red rose and a beautifully wrapped box. He found her waiting on him in the den, looking beautiful in her emerald green dress with some jewels on the neckline. She stood on her tiptoes, kissing him passionately for a moment. When she pulled away from him, she accepted the wine and set it down, before sniffing the rose and looking to find a vase to put it in.

 

“I made reservations at the Italian place,” she said as she filled the crystal vase with water. “I didn’t feel much like leaving town, I hope that’s okay.”

“Whatever you want, it’s your anniversary.”

“Our anniversary.” She turned to him and saw the wrapped package in his hands. “Is that for me?”

“Do I have another lovely, sexy wife it could belong to?”

Belle giggled and accepted it from him, opening it to find a leather jewelry box. Upon flipping it open, she discovered a beautiful diamond necklace, her eyes widening. “Oh, Sampson…”

“I think it goes perfectly with your dress.”

“I love it, but it’s…it’s too much.”

“Nothing could ever be enough for you.”

 

He held back her hair and clasped the necklace around her neck. She gave him another kiss before disappearing into the other room, only to return a moment later with three packages of her own. The first two included a silk tie set and a glass of his favorite whiskey. The last one, however, was the box he had put her engagement ring in. He cocked an eyebrow and flipped it open, finding a pacifier inside. Slowly, he tilted his head.

 

“Belle…”

“I found out this morning,” she whispered. “It…it happened.”

 

The two had been trying since their honeymoon to have a child. Yes, Gold had his son and he loved him, but he knew how badly Belle wanted to be a mother and there was no way he would deny her that. Besides, he had always wanted more children. Even if in this case, they’d be younger than his grandson. Still, nothing had seemed to work. Belle was getting nervous and had actually been making plans to talk to a specialist.

 

There was no need for that now.

 

“We’re going to have a baby,” he said, in awe.

Belle nodded. “We’re going to have a baby.”

 

He swooped her into his arms, landing a kiss to her lips before resuming hugging her tightly. She hugged him tighter, tears of joy falling down both of their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once so happy, now...so sad.
> 
> It's TMI Tuesday. Send these dorks some questions and they'll answer them!  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask


	3. Chapter 3

Belle pulled up in front of her parents’ house, letting out a small sigh. They had moved to the states from Australia when Belle was 5 and she always considered Storybrooke “home”. Sure, they had visited Australia once since then, but when she was in New York and envisioned her childhood home…she thought of the small white house just off of Main Street. Her parents were botanists, so of course there was a rose garden out front. She knew that was her mother’s handywork, Moe was far too busy with the shop and beer to care about the maintenance of their home.

 

She got out of the car and headed up the steps, a part of her wondering why she was even bothering with this. Sure, maybe her husband would actually discuss divorce after she saw them, but there was a chance he wouldn’t. Oh well, it’d save her money on having to stay at the bed and breakfast. Using her key to walk inside, she called out into the void.

 

“Is anybody home?”

Colette walked out of the kitchen, raising an eyebrow. “Belle?” She walked closer to her. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t a daughter come see her parents?”

“Well…yes, of course.” She pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek before quickly pulling out of it. “Just wasn’t expecting you is all.”

Belle shrugged. “Still trying to tie up that loose end.”

Colette bit her lip and nodded. “Right, right.”

A booming voice came from the living room. “Is that Belle?” He walked into the hallway, kissing the top of her head. “How long’s it been, sweetheart?”

“Awhile, I guess. I sent you guys those plane tickets to come visit me.”

Colette patted her husband’s arm. “I told you, it just…wasn’t a good time.”

“Right.”

 

An awkward silence fell over the entry way as all three of them knew what had happened. Moe got drunk and called Belle on a rant about how if she wanted to see them, she could just come home. It lead to a huge argument with the tickets never being used and Belle being pissed off.

 

“So, are you hungry?” Colette asked. “I was just about to make lunch.”

“Shouldn’t the two of you be at the shop?” Belle asked, realizing the time of day it was. There was another beat of silence. “What’s going on?”

Moe looked disgusted. “A whole lot of good you marrying the landlord did. I swear he evicted us out of spite.”

Belle looked directly at her mom. “Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve helped.”

“It is not your job to bail us out of messes, Belle,” she said, firmly.

“That flower shop meant everything to you. At the very least, I could’ve talked with Sampson…”

“Look, it’s probably just as well anyway. Your father can’t stand for very long these days and I got a job at the market. Not much, but it pays the bills.”

 

Belle wanted to scream. The flower shop had been Colette’s baby, her dream. She loved being able to create arrangements and make things look pretty. They had always been a little behind on rent, but somehow turned it around. What had to happen for it to get so bad that not even Colette could save it? A part of her wanted to be mad at Gold, but it wasn’t his fault. Maybe if she had stayed with him, he’d be more understanding but…no. It wasn’t his responsibility to make sure that her father was wise enough to spend his money on the necessities.

 

“And Dad?” Belle turned to him. “What are you doing to contribute here?”

“That’s none of your damn business,” he said. “We’re fine, me and your mother.”

“Right, of course you are.” She bit her tongue. “I’m assuming it’s no problem if I stay here until I get this mess sorted?”

“You can stay as long as you like,” Colette said, lightly, looking at her daughter with pleading eyes. The same eyes she gave Belle time and time again.

 

_Just be patient with him. He’s your father._

 

Belle didn’t say anything further. She hiked her designer duffel further up her arm and headed straight back into her room, which was like walking into a time warp. She spent her summer breaks at Sampson’s for the most part and moved in with him as soon as he proposed. Her room hadn’t changed much since the day she moved out to go to college.

 

She ran her fingers over the pictures of her and Ruby, knowing it wouldn’t take long before her best friend found out she was back in town. They had traded e-mails and phone calls over the years, but it’d be nice to catch up with her. She loved Ariel and Jasmine, but there was nothing like someone who knew you, the real you.

 

She flopped back on her bed and felt something behind the pillow. She reached under and pulled out a pink knit beanie. Tears gathered up in her eyes and she quickly shut them, thinking it’d make the thoughts go away but it only made them more prominent.

 

Biting into the cupcake, seeing the pink and practically knocking Sampson over with her hug. Going to Granny and asking for help learning how to knit. She figured a beanie would be a good first project, after all, her daughter was due in the dead of winter in Maine. A hat was practical.

 

She had misjudged the size of what a newborn’s head would be, however and it turned out huge. Sampson had teased her for it.

 

_“Poke some holes into the bottom, we can use it as a diaper when they get big enough.”_

 

After everything went wrong, she had kept it in her bag, as a reminder. It was something that helped her feel close to Nellie. The day she left town, when she went to say her final goodbyes to her mother, however, she had hid it in her room. She didn’t need any more reminders of Storybrooke than she already had.

 

Her eyes flickered open and she set it down. She didn’t want to be in Storybrooke any longer than she had to be. The sooner she could get Sampson to sign the papers, the sooner she’d be able to go back to New York and move on with her life. Even if Jefferson wasn’t in the picture.

 

She hadn’t spoken to him since the failed engagement and she was afraid to. Whatever his feelings, they were well warranted. She had spent 2 years lying to him about her real name, her marital status, everything. It wasn’t fair to him. Yet, she hadn’t wanted to lose him, so she kept it up. Oh, what a mistake that had been.

* * *

 

The next afternoon, Belle walked up to Gold’s door and knocked, only to get no answer. She looked in the driveway, but there was no car or anything either. That was strange, normally he’d be home around that time. Using her key to let herself in, she decided to look around the house.

 

Not a lot had changed. He had let her decorate when they got married and she had livened up the place with color. A part of her was surprised to see that he hadn’t gone back to his cold and sterile ways, she knew he never parted with the furniture. Her eyes flickered to the mantle place, with the pictures of them from their wedding and their travels. There was a time when they had been so happy. Why did all of that have to stop?

 

She noticed that there was something missing and couldn’t put her finger on it at first. After a quick glimpse in the fridge, however, it dawned on her.

 

The liquor cabinet was gone. Not only that, but there was no drop of alcohol anywhere. She found a small clay pot, maybe made by Henry, and found chips inside. The first few were the day ones, but it seemed that he had wracked them up all the way to 4 years.

 

Sampson Gold was sober. Why did he never tell her?

 

“What are you doing back here?”

Belle jumped and spun around, finding him standing there. “Wanted to talk to you.”

He nodded and came closer, noticing the chips in her hand. “And you had to go through my stuff to do it?” He grabbed the pot away and threw it down.

“You’re sober.”

“4 years and going.”

“I…I didn’t know that.”

“You haven’t been around now, have you?”

“Does that have anything to do with your leg?”

“Cut to the chase, Belle, I know we’re not here to discuss me.”

She sighed, running her fingers through her thick curls. “You didn’t tell me about my parents’ shop.”

“Figured they’d do it for me.”

“I would’ve fixed it, if you just called.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.”

Belle’s eyes narrowed. “That shop was my mother’s pride and joy, sometimes I wondered if she loved it more than me. I would’ve done anything to help them keep it.”

“You think I wanted to do that to Colette? No. I love her, she’s a very sweet woman. Your father, however…well, he was the one who signed the lease. He’s the one that owed me the money.”

“And again, I could’ve bailed them out.”

“That isn’t your responsibility.”

“It’s not up to you to decide that!”

“Your mother told me not to let you fix it.”

Belle paused. “Excuse me?”

“She said that she knew you’d come down here and save the shop, but it wouldn’t teach your father anything. He’s her responsibility, not yours.”

“She never said that.”

“I’m sure she never said a lot of things.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Fine, whatever. I went and saw them, wasn’t that our agreement?”

“I said we’d talk once you did.”

“Sampson!”

 

She pulled the papers out and tried to hand them over, but suddenly his cane needed two grips to hold it up.

 

“How’d you hurt your leg, anyway?” She asked.

“None of your concern.”

“We’re still married, shouldn’t I have been called?”

“I made Neal my next of kin after you left. You can’t have it both ways.”

“We’re living as though we’re divorced! Can’t you just sign them?”

 

Gold’s phone beeped and he fished it out, smirking a bit.

 

“I only came home to grab my gift for Emma and Neal, it’s their anniversary tonight. Party at Granny’s.”

“Sampson.”

“Emma said you’re more than welcome to come.”

 

With that, he was gone. Belle rolled her eyes up to the ceiling.

 

“Guess I’m going to Granny’s,” she mumbled.

* * *

 

The diner was in full swing when she arrived. Mary Margaret and David were taking turns making a sappy speech about love and marriage, Henry was being sent upstairs to the inn so the real fun could start. It seemed like everyone from high school was there.

 

“Belle?”

She turned around and found Ruby standing there, wearing the same uniform she had throughout their teen years. Red streaks flowed through her hair and she was smiling wide. “Ruby, hey!” She quickly hugged her. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“Same here. I heard you were in town, but I never saw you.”

“It was just supposed to be a quick trip, but things keep getting delayed.”

“Please tell me you brought that hunky boyfriend you’ve told me all about.”

“Shhh,” she held a finger up to her lips. “No one else knows about that.”

“Why don’t you just tell Gold about him? I’ve told you, that’ll get him to sign those things for sure.”

 

_Because it’d hurt him. Because that’s not the way our marriage should end. Because I need closure in knowing I’m doing the right thing._

 

“Please tell me there’s alcohol,” Belle said, instead.

“Yes, now that Henry’s going to bed, we can break out the good stuff.”

 

Belle grinned and followed her friend over to the counter, passing a few familiar faces along the way and waving. God, it seemed like even less had changed when it came to her old friends. Ashley and Sean Herman were still going strong as ever, in fact the former had a baby on her hip as she drank a beer. For some reason, someone had invited Belinda Blue and she was judging everyone within a twelve mile radius. Regina Mills was still Emma’s right hand woman, her second in command. Apparently, she was the town’s youngest candidate for mayor, which also didn’t surprise Belle in the least. She had been class president from 6th grade to their senior year.

 

Ruby poured Belle out a shot and she knocked it back, looking around at the crowd. When Ruby got her another, she downed it just as quickly.

 

“Might wanna pace yourself there, Belles,” Ruby warned, knowing her friend’s alcohol tolerance.

“I’m fine.” She gently tapped the counter. “Give me another.”

 

She was six shots in when she noticed that Sampson, Neal and Graham were playing a game of darts. She walked on over, Ruby trailing close behind. Graham turned to Belle and grinned.

 

“Hey Beauty,” he said, using his old nickname from high school on her. “Where’ve you been?”

“New York, published a few books.”

“Well, we all know Graham didn’t read ‘em, he can’t even read the reports we get,” Emma heckled from the crowd to mess him up.

Graham rolled his eyes and threw the dart, just barely missing the bullseye. “Close.”

“Close only counts in horseshoes, my boy,” Gold said, tossing his own, which was only a few off from Graham’s.

“Let me try,” Belle said, taking Neal’s dart from him.

“You sure that’s the best mix?” He asked, looking at his father. “Belle plus alcohol plus pointy things will probably equal disaster.”

Gold shrugged. “She’s not my problem anymore.”

Belle tossed the dart, making it in the middle. “Bullseye! See, I can only do that while drunk.” She paused and started giggling. “Just like the only way Sampson could get me pregnant.”

 

An awkward silence fell over the crowd. Gold’s eyes narrowed.

 

“Why don’t you just go public with that shit?”

“Oh come on, not like anyone could ever keep a secret around here.” She spun around, pointing at Ruby. “’Cept Ruby.”

Ruby raised an eyebrow. “What’d I do to you?”

“You never did anything to me sweetheart, which is less than probably what half of the other girls in Storybrooke would say.”

 

The crowd around them ooo’d and Ruby’s nostrils flared.

 

“Belle, stop it,” Emma said, giving her a warning look.

“What?” Belle shrugged.

“It’s fine,” Ruby said. “I’d be bitter too if someone called one of my books less than mediocre.”

 

That got everyone laughing and heat fell across Belle’s cheeks. She had told Ruby that in confidence, though to be fair…it wasn’t as if she was being any better.

 

“How’s Dorothy? Oh wait, weren’t you too scared to make a commitment?”

“Coming from the girl who’s trying to get a divorce.”

“Hey, I made a commitment. I made vows and I followed them!”

“Doesn’t seem like that to us,” Emma mumbled, sipping her soda.

Belle let out a tiny scream. “None of you know what happened! None!”

“Belle, honey.” Mary Margaret was suddenly by her side, rubbing her arm. “This isn’t the time or the place. Maybe you should just leave.”

“It’s not fair! I’m not the bad guy here! I didn’t do anything wrong and all of you are here judging me!”

“No one’s judging you. You’re just…a bit too drunk to be here.”

 

Belle rolled her eyes and stalked out of the building. She heard someone following after her and assumed it was Ruby, but was surprised when she found herself face to face with Sampson.

 

“God, can’t you just leave me alone?”

“I’m not letting you drive home like this.”

“Oh, as if you didn’t a million times?”

He bit down on his lip. “I seem to recall you not liking that.”

“You invited me to this damn thing.”

“Not to make a fool of yourself.”

“Everyone here is on your side. How did that happen?”

“Sweetheart, no one has taken sides. You just nearly outed your best friend and tried to ruin a 10 year anniversary party.”

“Better than a marriage itself. Why won’t you just sign the papers? Why can’t you just do this one damn thing for me?”

 

Before he could answer, Belle was already halfway gone, trying to find her car. He went to follow after her, but Regina came outside, promising she’d get her home safe. He walked back inside and found Belle’s clutch sitting on the counter, her phone next to it. He picked it up to bring it out to Regina, when he saw her lock screen.

 

It was a selfie of her and another man. He was kissing her cheek and she was smiling like an idiot. He looked up at the window, watching as Regina persuaded Belle to get into her Mercedes. He swallowed, putting the phone into her clutch. He’d drop it off at the French’s, pretend like he never saw it.

 

Her showing up made sense. He thought that if she came back, it’d be easier to persuade her, show her how much things had changed. Instead, she was there because there was no going back. She was moving on. The man in the picture was young, handsome, probably didn’t have a drinking problem.

 

“They’re meant to be engaged, you know.” He looked up and found Ruby standing in front of him with blood shot eyes. “He proposed to her, it went viral. She turned him down, because I guess despite being a bitchy drunk, she’s not a polygamist. That’s why she came here. She wants to get married to someone else.”

Gold swallowed. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because if my secret was nearly exposed tonight, then hers can be too.”

 

With that, Ruby walked away, not knowing the landmine that she had just dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some questions for these idiots? Send them my way...  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little heavier and I'm adding in the trigger warning of miscarriage and infertility.

**_5 years and 7 months earlier…._ **

 

Belle knew the odds and the statistics, but she didn’t think it could happen to her. She’d later learn, that’s what pretty much every woman who suffered a miscarriage thought.

 

The day started out like any other. She kissed Sampson goodbye and he promised to come home at lunch so they could go to the appointment together. She did some cleaning and then sat down to write. Ever since she found out she was pregnant, she had left her novel pretty much abandoned and wanted to get back into the swing of things. It was a love story, based very much on her own. A piece of advice one of her professors gave her was to write what you know.

 

That was how Lacey Glass and Rumford Jennings came to be. They were a couple with a vast age difference in the early 1900s, with most of her friends and family being disapproving. Their relationship had hit a snag, however, when Lacey was accepted into one of the top universities in the country while Rumford had ties to his bakery in their small town. Her plan was to have them make it work, somehow. Especially when Lacey found out that she was expecting their first child.

 

She was on a roll, writing out their secret elopement, when she felt a small cramp, followed by another. She got up to go to the bathroom and as soon as she worked her panties down…she saw blood.

 

Quickly, she called Sampson in a panic and he came to drive her to the hospital. The entire time, things were quiet and she rubbed her stomach, praying that Nellie would be okay. Upon arrival, however, she just felt like when she left things would be different.

 

The doctor assured her that it was nothing she had done. She ate healthy, took walks every day and followed every piece of his advice down to the letter.

 

“Sometimes, these things just happen,” Whale said, gently.

 

It made her want to slap him. She knew these things happened. Why were they happening to her was the more important question.

 

Sampson kept a hand on her back as they discussed options. Since she was over 20 weeks, they’d have to induce the following day. She’d still have to go through the motions of labor and for nothing. She had to go home that night and know that she wasn’t pregnant, not really

 

A few days later, she came home from the hospital and went straight to bed, saying she wanted to be alone. Sampson said he had something to work on. When he finally came to bed in the late hours of the evening, he had whiskey on his breath for the very first time.

 

And it wouldn’t be the last.

 

**_Present Day_ **

****

Belle woke up with a pounding headache and a very dry mouth. She slowly sat up, holding her head and looked around the room. It didn’t take very long for her to realize that she wasn’t at her parents’ house, nor was she at Sampson’s. For a moment, she panicked, worried that maybe she had gone home with a stranger, until she heard a familiar voice shushing someone downstairs.

 

She was at Regina Mills’ house.

 

Taking a better look at the side table, she noticed a glass of water and two aspirin. She quickly took them and pushed herself out of bed, heading down the stairs. She found Regina in a navy robe talking to a little girl with straight blonde hair and big blue eyes. The girl turned and looked at her.

 

“Who’s that lady?”

“No one, why don’t you go eat your breakfast in front of the T.V,” Regina said, quickly shooing her in there and shutting the door. She turned to Belle, smirking a little. “How do you feel?”

“Like crap.” Belle dropped down at the table. “Why am I here?”

“I tried to drive you home, but you said your mother couldn’t see you like this.”

Belle winced, it was definitely best if Colette didn’t see her drunk. “Well…thanks.”

Regina set some coffee down in front of her along with a couple of plain pieces of toast. “So,” she settled in the chair next to Belle’s. “Quite a show you put on last night.”

“I wish I could say I didn’t remember it, but…” She sighed and sipped the coffee, knowing her stomach was too weak for the toast just yet. “God, I was an ass.”

“You were drunk, we all do stupid things.”

“I nearly outed by best friend to the entire town.”

“Well, that was dumb of you,” Regina said, bluntly. “However, I think you can make it up to her somehow. Why’d you even get drunk in the first place?”

“I was mad at Sampson. He won’t sign the damn papers and I just…I want this to be over.”

“May I ask why?”

Belle scoffed. “Please, you hated us together more than anyone. I know you’re not going to be asking why us crazy kids can’t work it out.”

“Look, I have my issues with Gold, there’s no secret there…but you two were happy. I used to roll my eyes at it, but you would smile. You went to events together, don’t forget my mother runs in very similar circles to him.”

That Belle knew. She and Regina had never really been friends, but they had built a decent connection during her marriage. “And then things changed.”

“You lost the baby.” Regina frowned when Belle looked away. “I know what that can do, trust me.”

“You lost a baby?”

“I could never get pregnant. Daniel and I tried right after college but nothing worked. After he passed, I went to see a fertility specialist and they spelled it out for me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Regina bit her lip, shrugging. “I was devastated for a while, found it hard to be around Henry even and he’s my godson, I love him.”

 

Belle knew the pain all too well. Any time she saw a baby after what happened, she would nearly break down in tears. She had to change the channel at diaper commercials even.

 

“Did it get any better?” Belle whispered.

Regina paused. “Did you know I have a sister?”

“Weird way to change the subject, but no.”

“My mom had her before she met my father, gave her up for adoption. Didn’t know about her until I was 18. I tried to be there for her, but she just…wasn’t interested. A little after you took off, I got a call from her. She was pregnant, didn’t want a kid or anything…so I adopted Margot. And she healed my heart.”

 

Belle nodded, smiling a little at the story.

 

“My boyfriend has a daughter.”

“You have a boyfriend?”

“Jefferson. He had her with his first wife, she’s 10. Beautiful, funny. I didn’t really get to know her until last year. I never wanted to hurt her, in case things didn’t work out and now…”

“Now Sampson still won’t sign the papers?”

“And I don’t even know if Jefferson would want to marry me. I didn’t tell him about any of this and then he proposed. Now, I’m breaking two hearts.”

“Do you love this Jefferson?”

“Of course I do.”

“Are you in love with him?”

A beat of silence. “I fail to see how that’s any of your business.”

“Mhmm.” Regina sipped her own coffee “Are you more upset you can’t marry him or that Sampson won’t sign them?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Does he know about Jefferson?”

“Of course not.”

Regina raised an eyebrow. “I get keeping it a secret from Jefferson, but why him? You want a divorce. This’ll push him there.”

“I don’t want to hurt him. I left him and I…I have my reasons, but he’s still a good man. He doesn’t deserve to have his heart broken either.”

“And you just think he’ll never find out? Belle, you’re a very successful author, I’m surprised your relationship isn’t more public.”

“Well…it’s not as if I’m J.K Rowling…”

“But it’s out there. He’s going to figure it out and the fact that you don’t want to say anything, it says a lot. Are you sure this is really what you want? A divorce?”

 

Belle gripped tightly onto her coffee cup as she thought of her reasons in the beginning. He wasn’t going to get better and that wasn’t fair to her. She didn’t sign up for all of that. Yes, he was hurting, but wasn’t she too? She didn’t turn to a bottle of vodka to drown her sorrows away, causing him to worry every moment they were apart…

 

Now she was back, though, and he was sober. He had his act together. And yet, too much time had passed. She knew she still loved him, of course she did. Love just wasn’t always enough, it hadn’t been the day she left. It had been 5 years and she had changed. He had changed.

 

Maybe it was just time both of them cut their losses and moved on. Maybe she could find the happiness she had been chasing since the day she left. She’d be able to marry Jefferson, if that was still on the table, and get the family she had dreamed of. After all, if Regina could get her daughter after all that heartbreak…couldn’t she?

* * *

 

After leaving Belle’s purse and phone in her mailbox, Gold drove over to the Rogers’ residence. He knocked on the door and soon found his sponsor on the other side. James Rogers fixed him with a smile and slapped him on the shoulder.

 

“Hey buddy,” he said. “Haven’t seen you in a couple of days, was getting worried.”

“A lot’s been going on.” Gold followed him inside. “How was Alice’s ballet recital?”

“Uh, you know…I don’t think it’s for her. Halfway through, she pretty much just said fuck it and began doing her own dance.” Rogers chuckled. “But, she gave it a shot and now it’s onto the next activity.”

“Which is?”

“Painting, just like her old man.”

 

Gold admired Rogers, a lot. He was a single father, doing his best to raise his 5-year-old despite also being a recovering alcoholic. Rogers had been one for far longer than Gold, all throughout his teens and early twenties, finally sobering up 7 years prior. He loved his daughter so deeply and yet was so scared, reminding Gold of how he felt raising Neal after Milah took off.

 

“So, you normally call before stopping by which tells me one thing,” Rogers sat with him in the living room. “You’re here as an alcoholic and not my friend.”

“You’d be right there. My…wife is back in town.”

“The author?” Rogers let out a whistle off his nod. “Well, I can’t imagine that’s been going very well.”

“It hasn’t. She’s still insisting I sign the papers, we haven’t really had a chance to talk. She found out I was sober last night and it surprised her, in a good way I think.”

“That’s good. Does she know about why?”

“No, we haven’t actually had a chance to talk without screaming. She just insists I sign and I tell her no, I…I’m not great at communication.”

“Seem to be doing fine here.”

“It’s easier with you, you know the person I am now. All she remembers is the husband that nearly drove his car off the road.”

“I get it, I do. Sometimes it’s easier opening up to someone who’s been there, but we’ve also been working on you talking to others. You said you felt better after making amends with Neal. Maybe try to give Belle your letter.”

Gold gnawed on his lip. “Not sure a lot of good it would do anyway. Last night, she got drunk and left her phone behind…I noticed a picture of her with some guy.”

Rogers winced, but quickly recovered. “Maybe he’s just a friend?”

“Ruby confirmed he’s more than that. I did some digging on her Instagram, had to get Henry’s help with that one, and they’re definitely dating, going to be engaged.”

“I’m sorry.”

“All this time, I haven’t even thought of anyone else and yet I feel so bloody stupid for not thinking she’d move on.”

“Does it change your mind about what you want?”

“I don’t know!” Gold rose to his feet and began pacing, his knuckles turning white as he gripped his cane. “She clearly wants to move on, she’s got a whole life and…what can I offer her now?”

“A sober husband, which is what she wanted all along.”

“But am I too late? Did we miss our window?”

“I can’t be the one to tell you that.”

 

Rogers got up and went to his bookshelf, picking up a frame from the top of it. He crossed back to Gold and put it in his hand.

 

“Read this.”

“I’ve said it a million times and this isn’t a meeting.”

“I don’t care, read it.”

Gold let out an irritated sigh, but looked down at the cursive. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;  courage to change the things I can;  and wisdom to know the difference.”

“You made the only change in this situation that you could: you got sober. You had the courage to do that and I commend you for it. What you cannot change is whatever the future holds,” Rogers explained. “Whatever Belle wants from this point forward in his her court and you have to accept it.”

“So, you’re saying to sign the papers?”

“I’m saying to listen to her and actually have a conversation.”

“Easier said than done.”

“But it’ll be what saves you here.”

* * *

 

Belle pushed the door open to Granny’s diner a little after the lunch crowd had died down. There were only a couple of patrons and they weren’t in Ruby’s section. She felt bold as she walked over to her best friend, who was marrying the ketchups.

 

“Hey,” she whispered.

Ruby looked up at her for a moment and then glanced back down at her work. “I’m busy.”

“I wanted to apologize.” She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “I guess…I was afraid everyone was going to start piling on me that I wanted them to look at someone else.”

“All you did was make yourself look like a jerk.”

“I know. And I’m really, really sorry.”

Ruby blew a strand of hair out of her face. “You’re lucky Granny didn’t hear, she’s the only one I care about not knowing.”

“Still wasn’t right. You told me that in confidence and I…I was an ass.”

“You know,” Ruby finally looked up again. “Gold’s not the only one you ran out on.”

Belle sucked in a deep breath. “We talk all the time.”

“Yeah, and that doesn’t change that it’s not how it used to. Sure, I have Emma or Regina, but they’re not you, Belle. I miss my best friend. And then I get her back and all she wants to do is leave town, but not before outing me to most of it.”

“Rubes, I am so, so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Yeah…well…” She stuck her hands in her pockets. “Here we are.”

“What can I do to make it up to you? You know I’d do anything. Let you give me a bad perm? Tattoo I’m sorry across my forehead?” She saw Ruby’s lips turning up a bit, so she continued. “Call some of my very gay friends from New York to come up here and show you a good time?”

Ruby narrowed her eyes. “You mean I’m not your token gay friend?”

Belle laughed a little. “So...are we okay?”

“Not a hundred percent but I don’t want to kill you anymore, so there’s that.” She scratched the back of her neck. “I also think because I fucked up a little…we’re nearly even.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told Gold about Jefferson.”

Belle’s stomach dropped. “What?”

“You left your phone and bag here, he saw his face on your lock screen. I was so pissed about what you did, it just sort of came out.”

 

Belle felt her heart begin to race and fear seeped through her bones. He knew, Gold knew. She could only imagine what was going through his mind right then.

 

“Ruby, I have to go.”

 

Before Belle could say anything else, she made a bee line out of the diner and headed over to the shop. Gold looked up as soon as the little bell dinged above the door and straightened up when he saw her.

 

“I’m assuming Miss Lucas told you what I know.”

“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” she said, walking closer to him. “I promise.”

“I figured you meant for it to be a secret.”

“Look, I didn’t want you to think that’s why I wanted the divorce.”

“Well, you can’t exactly be married to two people at once.”

“It’s not as if I haven’t been asking you for this, for 5 years.”

 

Gold looked at her for a moment and it seemed like he had something to say. Instead, though, he just kept staring at her. She wanted to argue, tell him to take a picture and it’d last longer, beg him to just speak, but she found herself quiet as well.

 

He walked out from behind the counter and opened his briefcase, pulling out the very first set of documents that she had sent him 5 years ago. He grabbed a pen from it as well and flipped to the back, signing on the dotted line. He turned to her, putting them in her hands.

 

“Well here,” he said, softly. “Now you never have to ask me again.”

Belle’s eyes widened. “Sam…”

“You can be happy with him. I see he has a daughter.”

“How did you…”

“Doesn’t matter. I just hope he doesn’t screw up like I did…I hope he can make you happy.”

“I was happy here,” she whispered.

“You weren’t, not in those last few months and that was my fault. You leaving was the kick in the ass I needed to see that I wasn’t either.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, that’s why I didn’t tell you about Jefferson in the first place.”

“You didn’t hurt me, Belle. You never could.” He stroked her cheek. “All I want is for you to get everything _you_ want in life, and that’s seems to be what you have in New York. Go back there, get out of this dumb town and…be happy.”

 

Tears clouded Belle’s eyes and she looked down at his signature. This was what she had wanted for the past 5 years.

 

So, why did it now make her feel like her entire world was falling apart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some questions for these idiots? Send them my way...  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask


	5. Chapter 5

Belle sat anxiously as she listened to the Skype call ring. She had never been this nervous to talk to Jefferson, ever. A part of her wondered why. Sampson had given her what she wanted, he had signed the divorce papers. Nothing was stopping her from accepting Jefferson’s proposal now. Her mom had asked if she was nervous if Jefferson still wanted to marry her, but it wasn’t even that. Whether he did or he didn’t, it didn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

 

Was this really what she had wanted all those years ago?

 

“Of course it was,” she mumbled to herself.

 

She had gone to her mom in tears after the third time Gold had driven home from work drunk. It was nearly a year after losing Nellie and nothing had changed. She had gone to Dr. Hopper for help with her grieving, but Gold didn’t want to work on his own. He drank, he went to the shop and he’d come home long after he’d thought she’d gone to bed. She was terrified of losing him, terrified of losing the man he had once been.

 

It took a pregnancy scare to knock some sense into her. She had loved him, of course she did A year prior, she had wanted nothing more than to be the mother of his children. The man he was then, though? She couldn’t bring a child into this world with him being a drunk.

 

She couldn’t bring a child into this world, the same way her mother had.

 

The way Colette had looked at her, with such fear, made her feel even worse. Her mom had worked so hard to make sure she had a better life for herself, even if it meant they’d have to be apart. She had given Belle what she needed to leave and Belle had promised her she’d never look back.

 

So, she couldn’t start now.

 

The ringing stopped and Jefferson’s face took over her laptop screen.

 

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hey.”

“I um, I don’t know if you’re busy…or…”

“No, I just got out of a meeting actually.”

“Good, good…” She paused. “So, my husband signed the papers.”

“Really?”

 

There was a hesitance in his voice and Belle couldn’t blame him. She reached into her bag and pulled out the documents Sampson had signed, showing him the final page. A tiny smile of relief fell across Jefferson’s face.

 

“Wow.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what came over him, but he finally did it.” Belle set the papers down. “I am really sorry I never told you about all this.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because, I didn’t think you’d want to date me. I have a lot of baggage, Jefferson. I promise though, this is the only thing I lied about. I’m still the same girl you fell in love with.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“It was an impossible situation. I’ve tried putting myself in your shoes a million times since you told me and I wondered what I would do. I want to think I’d be honest, but…I don’t know. It is a lot.”

 

Belle slowly nodded, letting out the breath she had been holding in.

 

“I still want to marry you, Belle.”

She nodded. “And if you asked me again, I could give you an honest answer.” She smiled a bit. “I’ll be home as soon as I can. I promised my friend I’d go to this festival with her tonight, but maybe I could catch a flight tomorrow…”

“Or Gracie and I could come up to you.”

Belle raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“We could get married there. All your friends and family, I’ll bring Jasmine and Ariel with me.”

“Oh, Jeff, I don’t know…”

“I always wanted to see where you grew up, this is my chance.”

“Don’t you want a big, fancy wedding?”

“I had that with my first wife. Look, it’d be fun. I’ll fly up in about a week and then we can start the planning.”

 

Belle wanted to say no, she wanted to argue that it wasn’t enough time. Yet, deep down she knew that if Sampson could be so willing to sign the divorce papers, surely he’d have one of his judge friends sign off on it in the meantime. The only thing holding her back, was herself.

 

“Um…sure.”

Jefferson grinned from ear to ear. “Great. A proper Maine wedding it will be.”

“Yay,” Belle said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as he did.

* * *

 

The Miner’s Day Festival was a long held tradition in Storybrooke. According to history, the nuns would exchange candles for coal with the miners and apparently everyone was so grateful, it became an official holiday in the small town. The weeks before the festival, Mary Margaret Nolan held up a fundraiser for selling candles and there’d be a big celebration at the end of it. It was a fun excuse to run around, eat fattening fair food and just get together. Belle’s last one had been right before she decided to get the hell out of dodge and it seemed like nothing had changed.

 

She spotted Ruby sitting at a picnic table with Emma and Regina, which made her pause. She had talked with Ruby and Regina, but hadn’t seen Emma since the party the night before. She slowly walked over and hung back a bit.

 

“Hey guys,” she said.

Ruby looked up at her with a smile. “Hey.”

Belle looked over at Emma. “I’m really sorry about last night.”

Emma shrugged. “Forget about it.” She turned to Henry, handing him some cash. “Go get Belle a hot cocoa.”

 

Henry nodded and raced off, while Belle slid into the seat next to Regina’s. She looked around the festival, catching the eyes of familiar faces. If anyone was still upset with her about the party, they weren’t showing it and she was grateful. Small towns were notorious for being gossipy.

 

She got a good sight of Gold and her heart skipped a beat. He had…cut his hair? Why would he do a thing like that? Sure, he had trimmed it over the time when she had known him, but now it was perfectly groomed, no stray hairs anywhere.

 

“He claims it’s because he’s getting older,” Emma said.

“Huh?”

“Sampson’s hair. Don’t pretend like you weren’t looking.”

A tiny bit of blush spread across Belle’s cheeks. “I…I wasn’t expecting it.”

“He came around the house to pick us up and he about knocked me over with a feather.” Emma shrugged. “It’s not as if we don’t know the real reason.”

“He told you about that?”

“It was all over town by this afternoon. Leroy saw him handing you some papers in the shop,” Regina cut in.

Belle frowned. “I didn’t think it’d happen so quickly.”

“You know this town.”

“I just…I can’t believe he finally did it. I never understood why he wouldn’t.”

 

Emma and Regina exchanged a look, almost as if they were having a silent conversation. Belle folded her arms over her chest.

 

“What?”

“Sam went to New York, you know,”  Emma said. “It was right around the time he got out of rehab…”

“He went to rehab?”

“Yup. He got straight out and flew down to see you. He saw how amazing it was, though. He knew it was where all your dreams were going to come true. He knew deep down that he had to clean himself up a lot more before he’d win you back.”

“That’s why he wouldn’t sign the papers,” she whispered.

Emma nodded. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, does it?”

“Guess not.”

 

Henry returned, Neal and a few others not far behind him. Belle hung back for most of the night, watching the festival go on. Eventually, though, she got up and started wondering around. She moved far out of the noise of the festival, the pop music drowning out behind her. She made it to the well, the very same one she had stood at the day she left home. She had tossed a coin in, wishing for a sign that she was doing the right thing.

 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

The sudden accented voice threw Belle off and she looked up. “What are you doing here?”

Gold shrugged. “Festivals aren’t really my thing, I like to come around here to think I guess.”

“This is where I came the day I decided I was going to leave you,” she whispered. “Wished for a sign.”

“Did you get one?”

“No. Still left, anyway.”

“Belle…”

“You know, I’m really happy in New York,” she mumbled. “Then I come here and, well, I find that I’ve missed it.”

“You don’t miss this place.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel. I miss a lot about it. I miss my mom, I miss my friends. I miss how peaceful it was, how it felt to go where everyone knew you.”

“You can’t have roots and wings.”

 

Belle looked away, staring down at the well.

 

“You cut your hair.”

“Felt time for a change.”

“And here I thought only teen girls cut their hair when going through a breakup.”

“Funny.”

“You ever gonna tell me what happened to your leg?”

“Car accident,” Gold admitted. “A little after you left.”

“Drunk driving?”

“Can’t tell a lie.”

She let out a shallow breath. “You could’ve killed yourself and you’d have deserved it too.”

“Oh trust me, I know. I was stupid. It was the wakeup call I needed.”

Belle finally met his eye. “I’m glad you’re sober, I really, really am. I can’t imagine how hard it was.”

“It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. I just took it one day at a time, like the prayer says.”

“The serenity prayer.”

“You know it?”

“It’s not just for addicts, you know. After we lost Nellie, I’d say it to myself all the time.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Belle, not the way a husband should be.”

“Sam…”

“No, just listen. I was selfish and stupid. I knew you were going through a lot, but losing that baby…it just broke something in me. When Milah left, I nearly went off the deep end but I had Neal to keep me in check. When we lost the baby…I knew I had you, but I didn’t let that be enough. I wish I had chose you, that I had been the man you deserved. The man you married.”

 

The crickets sang in the background, but for once it wasn’t out of awkward silence. Belle was looking at her soon-to-be-ex in awe.

  
“I’m so sorry, for everything.”

“I forgave you a long time ago,” she said, softly. “And I’m sorry too, for running away.”

“You did what you had to. And I’m so proud of you, Belle, you have no idea.”

“I bet you haven’t even read any of my books.”

“Oh really?”

“You always said romance novels were for the hopeless.”

“Well, I happen to think that Rumford is an idiot and that Lacey is my favorite character from book or screen.”

Belle bit her lip. “You did read them.”

“A big change from when you first started writing.”

“After the baby...just didn’t seem right.”

“You have to write what you know. And that’s what you knew.”

“Rumford was highly exaggerated.”

“No, he wasn’t. I was pretty bad. I didn’t blame Lacey for never going back, and I never blamed you.”

“You still didn’t sign the papers.”

“I had hope.”

 

She was quiet again, running her fingers over the stone.

 

“I just needed a new life.”

“And you got your wish. I’m proud of you, Belle. I wish I could’ve been the husband you needed.” He took hold of her hand. “I’m sure this next guy will be better.”

 

Belle looked from his hand, to back at him. A part of her knew she should just leave. Walk away, go back to the festival or go home, go anywhere. Call Jefferson and tell him that she couldn’t get married in Maine, there was just too much damn history.

 

Instead, she leaned in and kissed her husband for the first time in 5 years.

 

And she hated herself for admitting that it felt damn good.

 

She didn’t want it to end. Her hands went up to his cheeks and she held on for dear life as he deepened the kiss. For a moment, she was walking on Cloud 9 once again.

 

Suddenly, he pulled away and she stumbled back a bit. He looked at her with the same love he had for all those years and she waited for him to beg her not to marry Jefferson, beg for her to go back to him.

 

Instead, the next words out of his mouth were, “Go home.”

“Sam.”

“Go home, Belle.”

 

She slowly walked away from the well, willing herself to not look back.

 

Little did she know, someone had been witnessing the entire scene…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we get a look at the day Belle left Storybrooke.
> 
> Have some questions for these idiots? Send them my way...  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask


	6. Chapter 6

**5 Years Ago**

Belle sat at the kitchen table as her mother set a cup of tea in front of her before sitting across from her.

 

“He was drunk again last night, it was bad.”

“He didn’t hit you, did he?”

“No, of course not. Sam would never. He did drive home drunk, though. And we fought when I told him he could’ve died.”

“Oh, Belle,” Collette whispered, stirring her tea.

“I’m sad about Nellie too. But I’m not off nearly killing myself. I just….I didn’t sign up for this. I know it’s a disease and if he’d get help, I’d stick by him, but he won’t.”

“So…what do you want?”

Belle bit her lip. “I got this job in New York, at a publishing house. Ruby convinced me to apply back before I lost the baby and I wasn’t going to take it now, but…”

“Do it.”

“Mom.”

‘Take it, leave this town and come back, Belle. I know you want Sampson to get better, but he won’t. They never do.” She shut her eyes, clearly thinking of her own experiences with Moe, before opening them. “You need to leave him.”

“But I love him,” she whispered.

“Love isn’t enough. What if you get pregnant again? Do you want the baby raised like that?”

 

Belle stirred her tea, feeling a sinking feeling in her stomach. She knew her mother was right. Their marriage was over, she couldn’t pretend otherwise, even though she desperately did. She couldn’t be like Colette, waiting for a change that wasn’t going to come.

 

“I can’t just leave, though.” Belle suddenly felt foolish. Gold had always told her not to worry about work. She could focus on writing, then the baby. She loved it, but it didn’t leave her with much savings. “It wouldn’t be right to take money from our joint account for this. If I’m leaving him, I need to be able to do it on my own.”

“What do you have left from when you work in college?”

“Not much, maybe enough for a train ticket but I’ll need a place to live and I wouldn’t be able to put a down payment or anything like that.”

 

Collette stood up and went to the cupboard. She grabbed a cookie jar, reaching inside and pulling out a bundle of cash. Belle gasped.

 

“Mama, how much is that?”

“Two grand. I had it saved up, hidden from your daddy to…” She shook her head, but Belle knew what it was for and felt guilty. Collette was so unhappy, in a worse relationship than she was. Belle just wanted to run away.

“I can’t.”

“You have to.” Collette shoved the money into her hands. “Get out of here, Belle. Be smart, use your brain instead of your heart. For the love of God, do not end up like me.”

 

Belle saw the desperation in her mother’s eyes. She wanted to tell her to come with her, but she knew what Collette would say. This money had dust on it, she never had the nerve to use it and never would.

 

Belle did.

 

“I’ll pay you back,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry about it. Just go.”

Belle let out a deep breath and hugged her tight. “I love you, Mama.”

“I love you more, my darling Belle.”

* * *

 

Sampson’s divorce from Milah hadn’t been like the movies. He saw it coming, she told him calmly and everything was fine. It didn’t hurt, they weren’t in love. He had felt betrayal and embarrassment, but he held it together for Neal, he knew he’d need struggle and need him more than Gold needed to drown his pride.

 

The day Belle left him felt very much like a scene from a movie.

 

For one, when he walked through the door, he found one of her suitcases by it. They had been his wedding gift to her, proper designer luggage. She had brought her stuff to and from college in a worn out duffel. There was no way they could travel the world with that. H ehad been happy at how happy that had made her.

 

Now the bag brought him dread.

 

She walked out of the kitchen looking guilty. He saw her left ring finger was bare and it was another knife to the gut.

 

“Sampson,” she whispered.

“Were you waiting for me to come home or were you going to leave a note?” He asked, bitterly.

“I was waiting for you.”

“Right.” He threw down his keys.

“This can’t be a surprise,” she said, softly. “I told you what to do.”

“I don’t have a damn problem.”

“You do. And I can’t…I can’t become my mother.”

“You’re comparing me to your father?!? Have I ever hit you or kept money from you?” His features changed from angry to offended. “I would never be like him.”

“I know. I believe you, but I can’t sit here every night waiting to hear if you wreck. I’m sick of you getting drunk and not being yourself.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not! You’re in mourning and I get it. I am too, but I need my husband, not a drunk!” Tears clouded her eyes and she threw her hands up in the air. “I’m dying to get over it myself and I can’t with having to worry about you and your nasty habit!”

He swallowed, suddenly all of it was becoming very really. “Where are you going? Your mother’s.”

“New York. I got a job.”

“So, I’ll come with you. We’ll work on us.”

“You’ll go to A.A?”

“I don’t need it.”

Belle sighed, blinking away her tears. “I can’t do this. You’re fine now, but one day,” she swung her arms. “I want to be chosen by you.”

“I want you, Belle. I want to try again.” He put his hands on her arms. “Please, I can fix this.”

“I don’t want to raise this child with a damn drunk!”

“I’m not a drunk!”

“You are!” She exploded. “And we’re done!”

 

She stormed to the door, grabbing her bags.

 

“I won’t sign any papers!” He yelled after her.

“With my luck, you’ll get drunk and forget all about me!”

 

She slammed the door shut and he watched from the window as Ruby’s Corvette pulled up. Belle loaded up her bags and hopped in the car. Ruby gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and quickly drove off.

 

Gold waited for her to come back. He waited for her to run into his arms and say they could work it out.

 

He stood there for 3 hours, waiting. The sun set and his feet ached. She never came back. She was probably halfway to New York.

 

Gold knew she was right. He knew he had a problem. And he wanted more than anything to give it up.

 

Yet, when he collapsed on the couch that night, he had a bottle of whiskey in hand.

 

**Present Day**

Collette watched as Belle walked out of the festival and sighed. She knew that after being in town for a few days, it was bound to happen. Everyone around town had caught onto what was happening and it had spread around the festival like wildfire. Maybe her daughter would get the sense knocked into her to go back to New York and not have the wedding in Maine.

 

She didn’t get the idea to follow until she watched Gold do it first. She didn’t like the feeling in her stomach, so she followed a good few paces behind, lingering behind the big oak tree. Gold and Belle stood by the well, softly chatting about everything. At first it seemed innocent, as if they were finally letting each other go.

 

“I just needed a new life,” Belle said, softly.

“And you got your wish. I’m proud of you, Belle. I wish I could’ve been the husband you needed.” Gold took hold of her hand. “I’m sure this next guy will be better.”

 

Then she kissed him. She just leaned forward and kissed him. Collette’s eyes widened, wondering what the hell had gotten into her daughter. For years, she had promised her that she was over him. She had promised her that there was no way that she was going back.

 

“Go home, Belle,” Gold instructed, pulling Collette out of her thoughts. They weren’t kissing anymore, Belle was staring at him longingly and Gold was clearly trying to keep it together.

 

Her daughter slowly walked away and left Gold standing there alone. He ran his fingers over the stone and slammed his cane against it. Collette came out through the clearing.

 

“You did the right thing.”

Gold looked up at her. “Excuse me?”

“She needs to go back to New York, marry Jefferson.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“I just…I know you’ve gotten better. And you haven’t been willing to let her go.”

“I signed the papers, didn’t I?”

“I just want what’s best for her is all.”

“And you never once considered that could be me?”

Collette bit her lip. “That’s not true.”

“You were against us since before I even had a problem. I know you never wanted her to marry me, Collette. I was the one holding her in Storybrooke, the reason why she couldn’t get out of this town.”

“I want more for her.”

“You never thought about what Belle wanted. She could’ve been an author here and she would’ve been. I’m damn proud of her and I’ll never say she was wrong to leave. But she’s not a failure if she moves back here either. I love your daughter and I know I hurt her, but I’d do anything I can to make her love me again. I’ve recognized it’s too late. When will you recognize it’s time to let go?”

 

Before Collette could say anything else, Gold gripped his cane and walked back towards the festival. Collette was left staring down at the bottom of the well, reflecting on her soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law’s words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some questions for these idiots? Send them my way...  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask


	7. Chapter 7

**5 Years Ago**

His head hurt and his leg did too. There were lots of bright lights and for a moment, he wondered if he had died.

 

Then he saw his son, who looked pissed.

 

“Neal,” he choked out. “What happened?”

Neal handed him a cup of water that was at the end table next to him, watching his father down it. “You wrapped your car around a tree.

“Oh.”

 

It had been a month since Belle left and that afternoon was when he had gotten the divorce papers. The last thing he remembered was reaching for the key to the liquor cabinet.

 

“You shattered your ankle,” Neal continued. His voice was solemn, though anger was clearly written all over his face. Gold couldn’t blame him. He’d be angry with him too. “They’re going to do surgery but they’re not very hopeful. Your car is totaled, completely.”

Gold didn’t even care about any of that. He deserved every bit of whatever came to him. “And the police?”

“You’re very lucky you didn’t hurt anyone and that your daughter-in-law is the sheriff.”

 

Gold let out a shaky breath, but didn’t say anything further. The room felt so cold, so frigid. He hated hospitals. They reminded him of what had happened months ago, when he had to say goodbye to his daughter. It just wasn’t fair. That time Belle had been the patient, and now…

 

Neal interrupted his thoughts. “That doesn’t mean your off the hook.”

“I figured.”

“Rehab. No objections this time. I lost my mother, I won’t lose my father too. You could’ve died tonight.” Neal had tears building up in his eyes now and Gold felt regret in the pit of his stomach. He had been such an idiot. He had scared his son, he had nearly died. Just like Belle had warned him all of those times.

 

Belle.

 

“Did you call Belle?”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”

“Don’t. If I have a chance of getting her back, she can’t know.”

His son nodded. “You also need to get help.”

 

He exhaled through his nose. Neal was just going to keep repeating that, no matter what he said. He had been doing that since Belle left, even before then. Everyone was trying to talk sense into him and nothing worked. Now, he knew that he could’ve died. What would that have done to Belle? Maybe she wouldn’t care, but maybe it’d hurt her. He didn’t want to do that further. He didn’t want to hurt anyone in his family. He hadn’t seen Neal cry since Henry was born, no crying over being scared since he realized that Milah wasn’t really coming back for him.

 

Gold wouldn’t cause anymore tears, not if he could help it.

 

“I know. I’m sorry, son.”

Neal’s mouth opened, nearly accepting the apology right off the bat but then he stopped. Gold understood. It wasn’t okay and he didn’t need to be forgiven, not yet. “Yeah, well, just don’t die, okay?”

“I’ll do my best.”

* * *

Gold tapped his cane as he waited in line, a copy of Belle’s book in his hand. He had waited in the line for an hour, but it’d be worth it. No matter where they were, he had to celebrate her big achievement.

 

Then he stepped forward and saw her. She looked damn beautiful, her curls sprawling down her back. Her blue dress matched her eyes and she had that same intoxicating laugh when a fan said something funny. Beneath the table, he could spot a pair of heels, she always wore heels. Even when she had been pregnant and he had feared that she’d trip and hurt herself and the baby, she insisted.

 

“Feet need to look pretty too, Sam,” she’d lightly tease him.

 

He pretended to be annoyed by it, but nearly every holiday, she’d get another pair of him. He had been planning on building her a shoe closet before everything went wrong. Before he had spotted her, he was still planning on doing it. He’d do anything to make her happy, to make her smile again.

 

Yet, she was already so happy. He had spent the last 2 years in pain, but she was happy. He hadn’t seen her smile like that since Nellie died.

 

He glanced at the book in his hands. The character obviously based on him was an alcoholic that “Lacey” had to let go. Belle had done the same with him.

 

It wasn’t fair to force her to rehash the past, not when she had this life. She had a long line of adoring fans, a hit book. He was barely a year sober. He had checked himself back in just a few months prior to make sure that he didn’t fall off the wagon again. Yes, he could offer her financial happiness, but she didn’t need that anymore. She needed a good husband.

 

He had ways to go before he’d worthy of her again.

 

Pushing out of line, he went to the shelves. He grabbed the books she didn’t have on her table and brought them to the check out, buying every single copy.

 

“Belle’s so nice,” the cashier gushed as he swiped his card. “Did you meet her?”

“No, but that’s okay. I knew her before.”

“You lucky duck.”

“I was,” he whispered.

 

**Present Day**

Belle twisted the engagement ring around her finger. Jefferson had overnighted it from New York and it was just as beautiful as it had been in the box. A single diamond that shined in the light, with a ruby on either side. Her mind flashed back to her other engagement ring, the one Gold had given her. It had been grand, a big diamond surrounded by sapphires. Gold had said that they matched her eyes. It had matched her wedding band perfectly. Silver, she preferred it to gold.

 

Though, she loved this ring too, she told herself. Even if it was gold, that was Jefferson’s favorite. He wanted it to go with his band, which he also planned on being gold. She would give him that. A ring was just a ring, it didn’t matter.

 

She thought back to the day she had met him, just over 2 years ago. She’d never tell anyone the exact date and that was probably for the best.

 

_It was Sampson’s birthday and the thought couldn’t escape Belle’s mind. 3 years ago, she’d be getting a cake from Granny’s (vanilla, his favorite, with buttercream frosting). She’d take a million years getting him a gift. He had everything and he never had requests. His last birthday was a week before things went pear shaped and she had bought him a polaroid camera._

_“Because you hate taking pictures with your phone”_

_He had loved it and instantly took a picture of her stomach to put in the baby book. He said it’d be perfect, that he had one when Neal was a baby and it was perfect to capture memories instantly. He couldn’t wait to take a million pictures of Nellie with it._

_After she left, she never sent a card or a gift. He always sent her flowers on her, it was an anonymous arrangement, but no one else sent her tiger lilies. Sometimes she wondered if she should send a little something, but it’d send mixed signals. They were over, plain and simple._

_She was so lost in thought, she didn’t notice the man in front of her, colliding into him._

_“I’m so sorry,” she said, frantically._

_He simply smiled. “No worries, you were so far gone, I’m pretty sure I’m lucky all I got was a bump.”_

_She let out a soft chuckle. “My head’s in the clouds, I guess.”_

_Belle took in the man in front of her. He was handsome, no doubting that. He had a mop of dark curls and a crazy smile, that was somehow comforting at the same time. He was wearing a nice suit, with a top hat on his head. It was quite the first impression._

_“One of the better places for it to be,” he said._

_Belle looked around her publisher’s office. “Are you one of Mal’s authors?”_

_“No, no. I don’t write. I’m in costume design. One of her books is being made into a movie and I wanted her to consult.”_

_“Costume design, huh? Sounds fun.”_

_“It can be.” He tilted his head. “Are you Belle French?”_

_“You know me?”_

_“My friend Mulan loves your work. I see your face on the backs of her books.” His smile widened. “Though, I gotta say, you’re much prettier in person.”_

_Blush crept over her cheeks. “Thank you. I never did catch your name.”_

_“Jefferson, Jefferson Chapeau.”_

_“Very nice to meet you.”_

_“You too.” He took her hand and kissed it, making her blush harder. “Are you going to Mal’s Christmas party?”_

_“I was um, thinking about it. Why?”_

_“I was invited. I guess I’ll see you there.”_

_“Guess you will.”_

“Belle!”

 

She looked up, remembering where she was: the airport. Mulan, Ariel and Jasmine were running right for her. They threw their arms around her, hugging her tightly. Belle grinned, hugging them tighter.

 

“I’ve missed you guys,” she said.

“We’ve missed you too!” Ariel grabbed hold of her left hand. “Oh good, you got the ring!”

“Yeah, Jeff wanted me to have it as soon as possible.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Mulan mumbled.

Jasmine elbowed her in the ribs. “Mulan.”

“Sorry. So, are we going to the inn you’ve told us all about?”

Belle wanted to push, but knew better. Mulan had a quick mouth about her and she didn’t want to get into an argument in the middle of the airport. “Yes, just to drop off your stuff. Then, my best friend from Storybrooke made us reservations at the bridal boutique. That’s if you guys aren’t too tired.”

“Of course not.” Ariel grabbed her hand. “That’s why we’re here! We’ve got to help you plan the best wedding ever!”

* * *

Storybrooke only had one bridal boutique and Belle would hardly call it couture, but she didn’t care. She had worn her mother’s wedding dress when she married Gold and loved how classic it was. It didn’t seem right to wear that again, though, given the circumstances. Instead, she’d agreed to look here. It was filled with lots of different dresses, varying in colors and styles. Belle wasn’t sure where to start first, but luckily, she’d have help.

 

Ruby was already waiting when she arrived with her New York friends, as was her mother.

 

“Ruby, Mama, this is Ariel and Jasmine, my bridesmaids,” Belle introduced them. “Ariel, Jasmine, this is my childhood best friend, also maid of honor, and mother.”

“So nice to meet you,” Jasmine said, shaking their hands, while Ariel went in for the hug.

“Now I see where Belle gets her good looks,” Ariel said to Colette, who smiled.

“That’s very kind of you, honey.”

“And this is Mulan,” Belle said. “Jefferson’s woman of honor.”

 

Ruby turned to shake Mulan’s hand and paused, heat quickly coming to her face. Belle smirked, she had been hoping for that reaction. She had asked Mulan to come as Jefferson’s best friend, but she also so happened to know that she was a lesbian. Mulan seemed just as taken with Ruby as she was and fumbled to shake her hand.

 

“A pleasure.”

“You…you too,” Ruby stammered. She blinked a few times, taking in Mulan’s low cut red top before feeling Colette nudge her. “Let’s look at dresses!”

Belle giggled. “Yes, let’s.”

 

Everyone seemed to have their own idea about what Belle could wear, Ariel and Ruby clearly projecting their own likes (did Ruby really expect Belle to wear a cocktail style dress that nearly made her boobs spill out?) while Colette and Jasmine were trying to pull things they assumed that Belle would like, but were too old fashioned (Belle didn’t want a collar, her last wedding dress hadn’t had one.). Luckily, Mulan helped the consultant, Ashley, reign the bridesmaidzillas and started pulling some actual suggestions.

 

She found herself in a simple white dress with tulle sleeve straps that felt a mix of classic and modern. Her curls were pulled back with a clip that she had brought and she could feel the butterflies gathering in her stomach as she looked in the mirror. Ashley zipped up the back and folded her arms triumphantly.

 

“What do we think?”

“It…it’s perfect.”

She grinned. “Should we show your friends and mom?”

“Yes, definitely.”

 

Ashley lead Belle out of the dressing room and helped her up onto the platform. The girls jumped up, rushing around to take in the dress.

 

“Oh Belle, you look beautiful,” Colette said.

Tears were in Ruby’s eyes as she played with the sleeve. “Tell me this one is it.”

Belle nodded. “I’ve got the butterflies, just like I did…” She trailed off, not wanting to go into her trying on her mom’s dress for the first time.

Colette could see the look on her face and bit her lip. “Belle,” she spoke carefully. “Are you sure you…you want to get married so soon?”

“It is all very fast,” Ariel chimed in. “I mean, will your divorce even be final by then?’

Belle squirmed in her spot. “Gold knows a judge, he said he’d take care of it so it’d get pushed through as soon as possible.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to jump into it right away.”

“I want to. Plus, Jefferson and I will be so busy and there’s no paparazzi that’s caught wind…this is what’s best.”

“If you’re sure,” Colette murmured.

“What is going on? A few days ago, you wanted me to get married. You were practically pushing me out of town to do so.”

“I just want to make sure this is really what you want.”

“It is.”

 

Belle ignored the uneasy feeling that was overtaking the butterflies and turned to Ashley.

 

“Can you please show me a veil you think will go good with this?”

 

Ashley nodded and scurried off. Belle hated the way her mother and friends were now looking at her. Couldn’t they go back to when all of them had been excited over the dress and everything else? She had to break the awkwardness.

 

“Mulan, don’t send Jefferson any pictures.”

She lightly smiled. “Of course I won’t.”

“Good, good.”

 

Ashley returned a moment later, holding a veil. She adjusted it in Belle’s hair, giving it a flourish so it’d fall down her back. The bell above the door opened, indicating that someone came in. Belle found that odd, considering Ashley said they were her only appointment until that afternoon. Then she heard the consultant speak.

 

“Mr. Gold, you must be here for the rent. Give me one moment.”

 

Belle froze in place. This wasn’t happening, not right now. She had totally forgotten that he owned the shop, he owned practically everything in the damn town. She kept her eyes on the mirror, not daring to turn around, she couldn’t.

 

Until she did.

 

She turned around and saw him standing there. He looked as handsome as ever in his suit and new haircut, his hand gripping so tightly on his cane that his knuckles at turned white. He swallowed, his eyes wide with wonder.

 

“You…you look beautiful,” he said.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I didn’t know you’d be coming by.”

“Rent day.”

“Right.”

“So…is this the one?”

“I think so.”

“Well, you’d look beautiful in a paper sack, so I’d say it’s you that makes the dress beautiful.”

 

Blush spread over her cheeks before she could help it and ducked her head away. Ariel tilted her head.

 

“Who’s this?” She whispered. “He’s kinda hot, in a silver fox way.”

Mulan rolled her eyes. “Ariel, you cannot be that dumb. That’s her ex-husband.”

“Oh…I get it now.”

 

Belle wanted the floor of the boutique to open out beneath her and suck her in. Gold was just smiling at her friends’ conversation, though in a way that just made it worse. As if sensing the awkward situation, Ashley dashed over, white envelope in hand.

 

“Here it is, sorry for the wait,” she said.

Gold nodded. “Perfectly fine, Mrs. Herman. See you ladies around.”

 

He walked out the door and Belle suddenly felt very hot.

  
“Are you alright, hon?” Ruby asked, rubbing her back.

“I…I think I need to eat something. I skipped breakfast. Ashley, the dress and veil are perfect. Let me change and then I’ll pay you.”

“Okay, awesome. We need to do a bit of alterations, so don’t forget to make the appointment,” Ashley said. “Need some help taking it off?”

“No…I’ll be fine.”

 

Belle dashed into the changing room and fumbled with the zipper in the back, pulling it down. She had worn a strapless bra that day and white underwear, which only brought her back to her wedding night. It had been her first attempt at lingerie, though with Gold she quickly learned that it was a waste of money. It ended up on the floor in two seconds flat and it was just itchy.

 

They had made love many times before, but that night seemed magical in a way. His hands on her skin, telling her how sexy she was, how he wanted to make her so wet. She could still remember how hard his penis had been, how great it felt when it came inside of her. When he actually came, the way she orgasmed and then doing it all over again when they had been recharged.

 

It took Belle a moment to realize that her hand was in her underwear, becoming wet at the very thought. Oh God, she was getting turned on by the thought of Gold, while wedding dress shopping.

 

She needed to get the hell out of Storybrooke. Jefferson was coming the next day, the wedding wasn’t long after that. Then they’d go back to New York and she’d forget about all of this. She had to.

 

“You alright in there, Belles?” Jasmine asked, knocking on the door.

“Fine!”

 

Belle threw her jeans and shirt back on, gathering the dress to take it to check out. She was getting married soon. That was what mattered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some questions for these idiots? Send them my way...  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask


	8. Chapter 8

Seeing Belle in a wedding dress had really driven it home for Gold. He knew that 5 years of no communication outside divorce papers, him finding out about Jefferson and finally signing them should’ve done it…but it didn’t hit him until he saw her standing there. The dress was beautiful, it hugged her every curve. Of course she had looked beautiful in her mother’s dress on their wedding day, but this just seemed more her. From what he had heard about this wedding, all of it was more of what Belle would’ve wanted.

 

He had told her he’d give her the wedding of her dreams, but he also knew he hadn’t hidden the fact that big weddings weren’t his style. He had one with Milah and it just felt so fake. Deep down, though, Gold knew it wasn’t the size of the wedding that impacted their marriage.

 

It had been him.

 

Not that it mattered anymore, she was getting married to someone else. She’d wear that beautiful, sexy dress down the aisle and marry a man who’d hopefully never develop alcoholism. A man that would give her an adorable daughter and they’d probably have lots of more babies to come. A man that he prayed wouldn’t let her down in the way that he had.

 

He needed to hit a meeting, desperately. So, he headed to the one he knew Rogers would be heading up and sat in the back. He listened to story after story, so many were worse than his own. Some people had left their kids in the car, others had accidentally killed someone due to their drinking. Some had gambled their entire savings away, that had never been his problem. He also had the painful curse of being able to recall every single one of his drunken stupors. All the fights with Belle, all the times he drove drunk, risking his own life.

 

Had he really never thought of what killing himself would’ve done to her? To Neal? Both had lost so much in their life and as little as he thought of himself, he knew that would impact them.

 

“Does anyone else want to share?” Rogers asked towards the end of the meeting.

Gold stood up, gripping onto his cane. “I would.”

Rogers nodded, smiling a bit.” Go right ahead.”

 

Gold made his way up to the podium, looking out at the small crowd. There were some faces he recognized, but a lot of new ones as well.

 

“My name is Sampson,” he started off.

“Hi Sampson,” the room replied. It was weird hearing someone else outside Emma or Belle call him that. He was so used to being called Mr. Gold. Here, it didn’t matter, though.

“So, I never thought I had a weird relationship with alcohol. I’m a business man, so normally I’d drink when I’d hammer out a deal or go to a function. It started to pick up a bit when my first wife walked out on me, but I had my son, a business to run. It never got too bad.”

 

He felt a smile tugging onto his lips.

  
“Then I met Belle. She was beautiful, young, Heaven knows too damn good for me. Yet, she chose me anyway. We got married, found out we were having a baby after a year of trying. It would seem everything was falling into place…until it wasn’t anymore. We lost the baby at 21 weeks, her name was Nellie. The anniversary’s coming up and that’s always hard…even harder…”

 

He swallowed, shaking his head. He had to move forward.

 

“My soon-to-be-ex is getting married to someone else. She went through so much after losing Nellie and I couldn’t be there. I just…I felt as if my world was falling apart. I had her, but I had lost this baby. I wondered if it was my fault, I had been so scared to raise another kid at my age. I worried I’d screw it up or miss out on big moments. Then as soon as I had adjusted to the idea…she was gone. The only thing that numbed the pain was whiskey. Belle, my wife, she tried. She put up with more than she should until she just couldn’t. And then, I had lost both girls that I loved more than life itself.”

 

Tears gathered in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. He never cried and he certainly wasn’t about to start in front of a lot of strangers.

 

“Now, Belle’s moving on. She’s getting married. Today I went to collect rent at one of my properties and saw her in her wedding gown. More than anything I wanted to go to the Rabbit Hole afterwards and drown my sorrows in anything I could get my hands on. It’s not like I have anything left, right? Except…I do. I have my son and his wife, a beautiful grandson. And maybe, if Belle can find happiness…I can too. Maybe. Um…thank you.”

 

The crowd applauded him and Gold stepped down, feeling Rogers pat him on the back.

 

“I think we’ll call it a day,” Rogers said. “Let’s all join hands and say the serenity prayer.”

 

Everyone rose and Gold slid his hand through Leroy Gerard’s own, the other going into Rogers’ prosthetic. Rogers began the prayer and everyone else continued along.

_God grant me the serenity_ __  
to accept the things I cannot change;  
courage to change the things I can;   
and wisdom to know the difference.  
  
Living one day at a time;   
enjoying one moment at a time;   
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace

 

The meeting wrapped up and after having their fill of the donuts and coffee, people made their way out. Gold stayed behind to help Rogers clean up, letting the comfortable silence take over them at first.

 

“So…you finally signed the papers, huh?”

“She’s marrying someone else.”

“You didn’t try to fight for her?”

“It’s hard to fight for someone who don’t get in the ring with you. Besides…I think she’s confused. I’m not saying she wants to go back to me…I just don’t think she knows what she wants.”

“What do you mean?”

“She kissed me.”

Rogers raised his eyebrow. “What?”

“After I signed the papers. We both ended up at the Miner’s Day Festival and she wondered off to this well. I followed and we got to talking about everything. I apologized and she just started rambling about how she loves New York and that everything’s great, but she misses Storybrooke too. Then, she kissed me.”

“Wow.” Rogers rubbed the back of his neck. “Sounds like she’s having doubts.”

“I just can’t do it. I know for the past 5 years I was the one that wouldn’t let go, but now? I think she just needs to go back to New York. She’s getting emotional and when Belle gets emotional, she gets impulsive. I don’t want her to ruin a good thing, over me of all people.”

“What if she wants to be with you, though?”

“She’s getting nostalgic, which is why she has to go. I can’t hold her back, not anymore.”

Rogers shook his head. “Maybe when she kissed you, she wanted you to ask her not to marry him.”

“I can’t do that. It’s not fair, and it’s certainly not fair for her to expect that of me.”

“It’s not, you’re right. But maybe hope’s not lost after all.”

 

Gold shook his head. Rogers had been so much more of a hopeless romantic, ever since he started dating the new food truck driver, Sabine. Happy endings were for the kids. He was older, wiser and knew when to walk away.

* * *

 

That afternoon, Belle made her way through the cemetery towards the back where the children’s section was. She remembered how morbid it had felt when she first discovered it as a pre-teen. A friend of Ruby’s grandmother had died and everyone had come out to pay their respects. Belle, Ruby and Emma had gotten bored and begun wondering around the grounds. They discovered the section where babies and young children were buried, it was so morbid to see the short span on the stones. Back then, Belle could never imagine having to bury your own child.

 

After Nellie, she hadn’t even been able to pick anything. She remembered her mother telling her the options and she decided burial was the best one. Colette took care of the rest, though she approved the headstone with Belle and Gold. It was a small black granite marking that had a white cherub on the top, staring down at it. Belle wasn’t sure what her religious affiliations were, but it made her feel good to know that someone was watching over her baby.

 

She had once visited the grave every week, then gradually less as time went on. It had been her last stop before Ruby dropped her off at the train station the day she left town. She had wanted to say goodbye, not knowing if she’d see the grave again. She told herself she didn’t need to, Nellie was in her heart always.

 

Yet, standing there in that moment…it made her feel more at peace. She knelt down in front of it, setting down the white calla lilies she had bought from the man that had taken over her parents’ floral shop, replacing the wilting sunflowers that someone (Gold? Her mother?) had clearly left not long ago. She ran her fingers over the name, reciting it in her head over and over. A name she and Gold had so carefully chosen, a name they had planned on calling their daughter for all her life.

 

_Nellie Samantha Gold_

 

A classic name, one with great meaning: shining light. That was just what she was to them, the best thing in their lives.

 

“Hey Nellie,” she whispered. “I know it’s been awhile. I…I hate myself for that. I’m your mother and you’ve been here…I should be visiting you. Even though, you’re always with me.”

 

She pulled the silver chain out of her shirt, revealing the locket she had bought. Flipping it open, she showed the grave the footprints that the nurse had done for them.

 

“Your birthday’s in a couple of weeks…you’d be turning 6. I feel like you’d have your daddy’s eyes, hopefully his smile. Would you be into ballet or books? Maybe you’d love running around in the dirt.”

 

Tears filled her eyes as she stroked the delicate white petal of the lily.

 

“I’m marrying someone new and he has a daughter…she’s so amazing and special, but I need you to know…I’m never going to replace you. Never.” A single tear fell down her cheek. “I need you to know that.”

“She knows.”

 

Belle looked up and found Gold standing there. She quickly rose to her feet, wiping away her tears.

 

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” she whispered.

“I went to a meeting and normally after I share my story, I end up here.” He held up a bouquet of sunflowers. “I always bring her these.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“I always imagined bringing her these for a birthday or whenever I made her upset. I know for you, it’s roses. But her…sunflowers…”

“It’s a lovely idea. I doubt you ever would’ve upset her, though.”

“Oh, I have a feeling I would’ve.”

“Nah.” Belle shook her head. “She was a Daddy’s Girl. Even in my stomach, she’d kick for you, especially when you sang to her. I have a feeling I would’ve been the bad cop there.”

 

Gold gently smiled, knowing that part was true at least. Nellie would’ve been so spoiled rotten. She already had quite the collection of outfits from the time they had realized she was a girl.

 

“She would’ve loved her mother, though,” Gold said. “You would’ve had your fights, but there’s a bond that a mother and child share, a good mother I mean. You’re the best mom there is. Grace is a lucky girl.”

Belle bit her lip. “I’ve never acted as her mother before.”

“You’ll get the hang of it.” He paused. “Does Jefferson know about Nellie?”

“Yes. That I didn’t keep secret. He never asked about the father, however. I’m guessing he just assumed old relationship.”

“Not wrong there.”

“No.”

 

There was a moment of silence and Belle stared up at Gold, trying to not think about what had happened after he left the bridal shop.

 

“I wanted to give you something,” he said, reaching into his jacket pocket. He slowly pulled out a white envelope, which had her name perfectly scrawled across it. “You don’t have to read it now…in fact I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

Belle accepted it, tucking it into the bag that hung from her shoulder. “What is it?”

“A letter I wrote to you in rehab. One of the 12 steps is making amends for the wrongs you’ve done. I wrote one to Neal, Emma…and you. I was going to bring it to you but then…”

“You chickened out.”

Gold tilted his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Emma told me you came to see me in New York, but then you didn’t. What changed?”

“I knew I had to be more than just sober to win you back. I had to prove I could be the man you fell in love with.”

“And?”

“And I realized that I changed after Nellie, I’m not the man I once was.”

“You’re a good man.”

“Belle…”

“You are.”

 

Gold gave her a pained smile before crouching down and carefully placing the fresh sunflowers next to the calla lilies. He picked up the wilted batch of flowers and picked at the petals, feeling their wrinkled skin under his grip.

 

“Anyway, you don’t have to read it,” he continued. “But it’s there, all of it.”

Belle nodded. “Thank you,” she said.

“Are you…do you plan on coming back to Storybrooke?”

She bit her lip. “I doubt Mom will ever travel as long as Dad’s around, so I’ll probably be back to visit her.”

“Right.”

“You um, you’re more than welcome to come to the wedding.”

 

He gave her a look and suddenly Belle felt stupid for even mentioning it.

 

“Right…that might be awkward.’

“Might be?”

“I was just trying to be nice by offering it, okay?” She felt the venom seeping into her voice and she didn’t know why. It was a stupid idea, her ex-husband watching her marry another man. She just felt very defensive as the heat rushed to her cheeks.

Gold raised his hand. “Whatever you say, sweetheart. I’ll be dropping the papers with Judge de Vil in the morning.”

Belle swiftly nodded. “Thank you.”

 

With that, she made her way back to her car, anxiety bubbling in the pit of her stomach.

 

“It’s just a few more days,” she mumbled. “Then, you’ll be home free.”

* * *

 

Jefferson arrived the following day, with Grace in tow. Belle was happy for the distraction-no, to actually see her future husband and step-daughter, she told herself. She introduced them to her parents, Colette of course making the better impression that Moe. (Her father found it appropriate to ask exactly how much a costume designer makes within the first five minutes.) She was happy to get them out of there and down to the diner for cake testing. While they were getting a newcomer to Storybrooke-Sabine Grenouille-to cater, Belle knew it couldn’t be a wedding without one of Louisa Lucas’ (or Granny as she was lovingly known by everyone else) famous cakes.

 

“I know Belle’s favorite is chocolate.” Granny said when the three of them arrived at the diner. “However, I did put out a few other options. She tells me you like red velvet, Mr. Chapeau.”

“It’s Jefferson,” he corrected. “And yes, it happens to be a favorite.”

“He’d eat it every day if he could,” Grace pointed out with a smirk.

Granny smiled. “And what’s your favorite?”

Grace grinned. “Chocolate, like Belle.”

 

Indeed, it had been one of the first things they had bonded over. In that moment, however, all Belle could think of was the wedding that was coming up oh so fast. She already had another appointment to alter the dress so it could be done in time for the weekend.

 

She could barely taste the cakes as she went through them with Jefferson and Grace, ultimately letting them pick a mix of chocolate with buttercream frosting. Once they placed the order and gave Granny and Ruby their invitations, they headed out to their next stop, which was the church. Jefferson fell in love with it right away and said he couldn’t wait to see all the decorations set up.

 

They were on their way to show Grace her options for her junior bridesmaid dress when Belle noticed Gold walking down the street. She quickly went to make a sharp turn, instead completely colliding into him, causing his to-go cup of tea from Granny’s to fall all over her blouse. He quickly pulled out his handkerchief, handing it to her to clean up.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “Didn’t you see there.”

“It’s my fault,” she whispered in response.

“Are you alright, Belle?” Jefferson asked, looking at the stain. “Did it burn?”

“No, it was cold.”

Gold studied the three people in front of him and then paused. “This is him, isn’t it? The fiancé?”

Belle gnawed on her lip. “It is.”

Jefferson held out his hand, completely oblivious. “Jefferson Chapeau, this is my daughter Grace. Are you a friend of Belle’s?”

“I’m her ex-husband,” Gold responded, not even flinching as he shook his hand.

Jefferson paused mid-shake, but didn’t move. Grace was the one that spoke up instead. “Belle’s been married before?”

“Well…um…yes, Gracie,” Jefferson said, finally finding his words. “I have too.”

“Well yeah, but my mom died. Belle’s husband is still alive.”

“Ex-husband,” Belle, Jefferson and Gold all corrected, too quickly, at the same time.

“And sometimes marriages end by divorce,” Jefferson continued. “It just happens.”

Grace nodded, though she still looked curiously over at Gold. “Why did you and Belle get a divorce?”

Belle clapped her hands together. “Well, I think it’s time we get going. Gracie, I picked out your junior bridesmaid dress, I think you’re going to love it. Good seeing you, Sam.”

 

Grabbing hold of Grace’s arm, she practically dragged her down the street, forcing Jefferson to jog to keep up. The rest of the afternoon was filled with awkward silence. Grace didn’t have anymore questions, but it was clear all of them had Gold on the brain. After dinner that night, they all returned to Granny’s Inn (Belle knew better than to let them stay at her parents’) and Jefferson sent Grace to shower before bed. Belle lingered in the doorway, running her fingers through her hair.

 

“So…how do you like Storybrooke?” She asked.

“It’s quaint, I see what you were talking about all these years,” Jefferson said. “It is an idyllic place to raise a family.”

“If your job wasn’t in New York, I’d suggest moving here.”

“Right, I don’t think the job’s the only thing keeping us there.”

Belle swallowed. “Sam and I are done. I swear.”

“Things certainly seemed awkward around you two this afternoon.”

“Because we’re exes and to be fair, Grace was sort of grilling us.”

“She’s 10, it’s what 10 year olds do.”

“I know, and I don’t blame her,” Belle backtracked. “I’m just saying, I don’t know what you were expecting.”

“He’s kinda old.”

“He’s 45.”

“That’s a 16 year age gap.”

“You’re 6 years older than me.”

“16 and 6 are a lot different.”

“It’s not the end of the world and besides, we’re over with.” Belle stepped closer to Jefferson. “I’m marrying you. I love you.”

Jefferson sighed, cupping her cheek. “He’s not coming to the wedding, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Good. In 48 hours, we can put all this behind us and move on.”

 

Belle forced a smile and nodded, allowing him to kiss her. She had meant what she said when she said she loved Jefferson, of course she loved him.

 

But why didn’t she feel the same butterflies when they kissed that she had with Gold just a few days earlier?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the wedding. I'm going to be honest and say I'm not sure when I'll be able to have it up. Currently visiting with some friends and then I'm moving...before having to go back to college a few weeks after that. I hope to have it up soon, but even if it's a bit, I'm not abandoning the story, I promise.
> 
> Have some questions for these idiots? Send them my way...  
> http://findingtallahassee.tumblr.com/ask


	9. Chapter 9

Belle sat on her bed that night, the envelope feeling heavy in her hands. She had been avoiding Gold’s letter since he gave it to her and she wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t going to change anything. They were in a good place, much better than they had been before she returned to town. She didn’t see them becoming friends anytime soon, but maybe when he moved on, they could find a rhythm. She couldn’t believe she was telling herself that, considering how long she tried to erase him from her life.

 

Being around him, however, made her realize that maybe she wasn’t ready to shut him out of her life all together. Exes became friends all the time…didn’t they?

 

She carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the stationary, which alone was a pang to the heart. They had registered for the stationary together for their wedding, Mary Margaret had bought it for them. They had used the cards to write thank you notes on and the pieces of paper to write romantic notes to one another throughout their marriage. The watermark read “Mr. & Mrs. Gold” on the back of it, from a time when she had called herself that. Even her books had been published under “Belle French”.

 

Belle let out a deep breath and began to read the letter, unsure of what was to come.

_My dearest Belle._

_I write this to you from rehab, knowing I probably won’t send it to you. I want to deliver it in person, when I can apologize to you properly. Even so, I know this is necessary. Words are important, but you always liked to say that the pen was mightier than the sword. All of those poems you’d write me, the romantic notes. Even your own wedding vows, they were like sweet melodies that inspired me._

_I screwed up, I am aware of that now. After we lost Nellie, I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve lost many people in my life: Milah, my parents. After Milah left me, I wasn’t sure how I’d move on. I had Neal, though. He needed me, so I pulled myself together. After Nellie died, you needed me and I wasn’t there._

_Maybe it’s because I blame myself. I told you I wanted more children and that wasn’t a lie, however when we struggled, I wondered if maybe there was a reason. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a father again. I worked too much when Neal was a boy, it had been years since I’d actually had to parent. When you got pregnant, as excited I was…I was scared too. I never wanted you to know that. I worried that I’d fail, that I’d let you both down somehow._

_So, when Whale told us that she was gone, I thought it was my fault. If I hadn’t been so terrified, if maybe I had just stopped being a coward, then we wouldn’t have lost our dream. Instead of coming to you, I hid. I drank and that wasn’t fair. You told me so many times to stop, you wanted me to get help and I refused. I was afraid, afraid of losing you. In the end, I bit the nose to spite the face because I lost you anyway._

_I’m so sorry, Belle. I know that no apology will be enough for how I treated you. I’ve come to realize that it wasn’t my fault that we lost our daughter, but it was my fault that our marriage has crumbled. Now, it’s my job to fix it. One thing we learn here is that even though we make amends, someone may not forgive us and that’s okay. It’ll be okay if you never forgive me, I just need you to know how deeply sorry I am._

_I may not deserve you anymore, but I want you and I miss you. If we’re truly over forever, then I’ll find acceptance. I just want you to be happy and to have the love you deserve._

_Love,_

_Sampson_

 

Belle lowered the letter, tears falling down her cheeks. He had been so vulnerable there, more than he ever had been. He had never came clean about the guilt he felt and she wanted to wrap him in her arms and tell him that it was _her_ who felt guilty. She had been the one in charge of carrying the baby and she felt as though she let _him_ down. They had never discussed it, any of it. They had just lost her and suddenly it was like she was a naughty word.

 

If they had gone to therapy, if they had been able to work through all of it…if she had just come home once before she had met Jefferson….

 

No, no. She couldn’t go there. The past was in the past….wasn’t it?

 

“Belle?”

 

Her head shot up and she found her mom standing in the open doorway. Colette walked in and shut the door behind her, lowering herself down on the bed.

 

“Are you alright, baby?”

Belle sniffled, setting the letter down. “Yes…no…I don’t know.” She sighed, running her fingers through her curls. “Sam gave me the letter he wrote to me in rehab, he wrote one to everyone he made amends with, I guess.”

“Oh.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he was sober?”

Colette tilted her head. “Huh?”

“You knew he got sober. I wouldn’t expect Dad to tell me, I’m not sure if he even knew why I was leaving him. You knew, though. Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Guilt washed over Colette’s face and for a moment, she didn’t say anything. She smoothed the quilt that was folded at the edge of Belle’s bed and looked around the room, almost as if she was looking for the answer there. Eventually, her eyes met her daughter’s.

 

“Because I didn’t want you to come back,” she whispered.

“What?”

“You had gotten out Belle, you were making something of yourself. It was all I ever wanted for you.”

“But he was sober!” Belle felt her voice rising. “He was a better man, you knew that was all I wanted.”

“Him getting sober wasn’t going to solve all your problems.”

“It was still a start!” Belle jumped up, starting to pace the room. “We could’ve gone to therapy, he was willing. He was getting help. You could’ve came to me, you could’ve told me!”

 

Belle looked at her mother, the tears feeling hot as they poured down her cheeks. In that moment, however, she saw that her own mother was crying.

 

“You know, Mom, just because Dad never changed, doesn’t mean that he never would. I could’ve been an author here, you could never just let me be who I wanted. You wanted to live out your fantasy through me!”

“Do you blame me?” Colette’s voice cracked. “I made a mistake many years ago, Belle. I should’ve taken you and gotten the hell out as soon as he turned to drinking. Instead, I stayed and dug myself so deep. I wanted more for you, I wanted you to have everything you wanted.”

“Everything I wanted was here!”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She stood up and placed a hand on her daughter’s cheek. “I should’ve told you, I should’ve let you make the choice. I was just scared and I thought I was protecting you, but I was wrong. Belle, whatever you want, chase it. All I want is your happiness. If that’s here in Storybrooke, then it’s here. If it’s New York, then it’s there. I don’t want to be in the way of it anymore. I’m so sorry.”

 

Belle’s body shook, her lip quivering. She wanted to be angry at her mother, but she couldn’t. She had done what every mother should, want the best for her child. She also wasn’t alone. Gold could’ve reached out any time and told her, but he had been too afraid. Belle could’ve called back at any time. Any number of her friends in town also could’ve let her know.

 

She didn’t want to be angry anymore, she didn’t want to be sad. It filled up way too much space in her heart.

 

Instead, she broke down and collapsed in her mother’s arms. Colette hugged her close and rubbed her back, just as she did when she was a girl. It was their first genuine hug in a long time and Belle had forgotten how much she needed her mother’s hugs.

 

After a few minutes, Belle pulled away and wiped her tears. Colette did the same, grabbing some tissues off the side table for them to use. They were quiet for a bit longer, both just trying to calm themselves down.

 

“Mom…I know Dad may throw a fit about this, but I don’t care.” Belle took her hand. “I want you to give me away at the wedding.”

Colette tilted her head. “Are you sure? After everything you just yelled about…”

“You’re the one person who’s always pushed me to be the best version of me, you’ve supported me through everything and I can tell how guilty you are. Outside Gold, you’re the one person who’s loved me unconditionally. I don’t want it to be anyone else.”

Colette smiled. “Of course, honey. Though, are you sure this is what you want? The wedding I mean. If you still love Gold, then I don’t think marrying Jefferson is going to change that.”

“Of course it won’t. I’m always going to love Gold, I’ve loved him even through our separation. Things are over between us, though. I…” She went to admit kissing him, not knowing that her mother already knew. She thought better of it and decided to switch gears. “He’s made it clear that he wants this over, too.”

“Why would he give you the letter, then?”

“Maybe so we can finally have some closure.”

 

Colette gave her a skeptical look and Belle felt the same inside, but she was sure it’d go away in a couple of days. Soon, everything was going to change.

* * *

 

Gold sat on his computer, looking over different travel websites. It had been forever since he had been on a vacation for fun and not business. Occasionally, Neal and Emma would insist he attend one of their trips to the Swans’ beach house on the Cape, but he typically turned them down. They had a perfectly good beach in Storybrooke, why travel 3 hours (without traffic) just to see another one?

 

Now, he wanted to get the heck out of Storybrooke. Belle would be getting married that afternoon and the thought was already starting to make him go mad. He knew he had no one to blame but himself. He had screwed things up and then when he had the opportunity to fight for her, he hadn’t. He thought back to their kiss by the well, to their visit to Nellie’s grave. Both times would’ve been perfect to tell her not to marry Jefferson.

 

That wouldn’t have been fair to her, though. And if she expected him to, well, that wasn’t very fair to him.

 

He heard the front door open, followed by his son calling his name. “In the office,” he shouted back.

Neal appeared a few moments later, dressed in one of the few suits he owned. As a gym teacher, he rarely had the need to dress up. “What are you doing?”

“Comparing prices to fly to Scotland.”

His son sat down at the chair in front of his desk, sitting backwards in the chair, just as he had done as a child. Back then, he’d be bugging his dad to come out and play or later, asking for money to take Emma out on a date. “Going home?”

“I have a few friends from before  your mother and I moved here that I haven’t seen in a while, figured I’m overdue for a visit.”

“I’m always surprised that I didn’t come out with a Scottish accent.”

“To be fair, we moved here when you were 3.”

“True. Two 19-year-olds, barely in college, on an adventure of a lifetime.”

 

Gold couldn’t help but chuckle, looking up at his son. It was only then that he realized, not only was he in a suit, but he had shaven.

 

“Where are you going all gussied up?”

“Belle’s wedding. I uh…was just going to make sure that was okay.”

“Emma and Belle were friends long before we got together.”

“I just wanted to make sure, I know it could be awkward. Me going to my ex-step-mom’s wedding.”

“You know she’s going to be a step-mom again?”

“Huh, well, that kid is lucky.”

“As is her new husband.”

Neal nodded. “Belle mentioned she invited you, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you came.”

“You honestly think I want to watch my ex-wife marry another man?”

He shrugged. “It’s never too late, you could pull a “The Graduate” and stop the wedding.”

 

Gold gave Neal a look and that was all it took for him to nod and stand up.

 

“Ceremony’s at 4, if you change your mind.”

“Call me if you need someone to watch Henry, if he’s too tired to stay for the whole reception.”

Neal stood up, staring at his dad for another good minute. “You know, for someone who’s been holding on so hard, you’re sure quick to let her go.”

 

With that, Neal left and Gold returned his eyes to the computer. In just a few hours, he’d be able to hear the church bells ringing, symbolizing a new marriage.

 

It’d also be symbolizing the day that his life was forever changed.

* * *

 

As it turned out, Moe didn’t care about not walking Belle down the aisle. (“I already did it once, why should I do it again?”) The guest list was finalized, the food was all set to go. All Belle had to do was show up the day of.

 

She stood in the bridal room of the church, looking in the mirror as Ariel played with her veil to get it just right. She, Ruby and Jasmine were all wearing matching floor length burgundy dresses that matched the men and Mulan’s ties. Belle herself was in her dress, that despite fitting perfectly felt a little tight. She convinced herself that it was just nerves, she felt the same way on her first wedding day.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden flash going off before her eyes. She blinked a few times, looking up at the photographer.

 

“Is the flash necessary?” She asked. “We’re all inside.”

“Sorry, ma’am. Just wanted a shot of bridesmaid and bride.”

 

He scurried off to take pictures of the rest of the bridal party. Ariel finished fussing with her hair and rubbed her shoulders.

 

“You okay?” She asked.

“Just a little nervous,” Belle admitted.

“Don’t worry, I felt the same with Eric on our wedding day. I threw up right before the ceremony, remember?”

Belle flinched, yet also smiled at the memory. “I do, yeah.”

“And look at how happy we are now. You and Jeff will be the same.”

 

Belle craned her neck to look back at Ruby and Mulan. Ever since the dress shop, they had been inseparable. Ariel and Jasmine informed Belle that Ruby had been seen leaving Mulan’s room at the inn every night since. Belle had a feeling that they’d take to one another and she was happy for her friends.

 

“Maybe I just need some champagne,” she mumbled to herself, pushing herself out of the chair and walking over to where a make shift bar was set up.

 

She found Grace standing there, sipping some of the sparkling cider. She was wearing a dress similar to the bridal party and looked quite adorable. Belle kept reminding herself that soon she was to be a mother…again. Jefferson had never made her feel like she was only around to be a mother to Grace, quite the opposite actually. He tried to keep them as separate as possible but that was all about to change. Soon, they’d be living together and she’d be looking after another life.

 

“You look beautiful, Gracie,” Belle said.

Grace smiled. “Thanks. You look like a princess.” She continued talking before Belle could respond. “So…after this we’re going to be a family, right?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t have to call you “Mom”, right?”

“Oh.” Belle frowned. “Well…no, of course not. Not if you don’t feel comfortable with it.”

“I just…I haven’t had a mom in a long time.” Grace shrugged. “You’re cool and I know you’ll be my step-mom. I just know my friend Ava got a step-mom and she acted like she was replacing her old mom.”

“Gracie, I’ll never replace your mother. She’s always going to have a special place in your heart and I’d never even attempt to fill that.”

Grace nodded. “Good.”

 

She walked off and Belle felt even more guilt that the conversation lifted a weight off her shoulders. She quickly shook it off and let the photographers take some more pictures of them. Eventually, the rest of the groom party entered the room, pairing off with the other bridesmaids. The photographer rushed out to get pictures of them walking down the aisle, leaving Belle and Colette alone in the bridal room. Colette handed Belle her flowers, roses mixed with baby’s breath.

 

“You ready, sweetheart?”

 

Belle looked in the mirror and let out a deep breath.

 

“Yes, let’s do this.”

 

Linking arms with her, they made their way to the closed doors that lead to the main hall. As soon as the last notes of the song the bridesmaids were walking down to ended, the organ switched to “Here Comes The Bride”. Belle tightened her grip on her mother’s arms and watched as the ushers opened the doors. Together, they made their way down the aisle.

 

Jefferson stood at the end of the aisle, looking dashing as ever. He had opted to wear a top hat that day that matched his tux. There were so many people watching her and yet, she had her eyes solely on him. This was the man she planned on spending the rest of her life with.

 

When she finally made it to him, she kissed her mother’s cheek and watched as she hugged Jefferson before taking her seat beside Moe. Jefferson took Belle’s hand and they turned to the priest, who grinned at them.

 

“We have gathered here today to join Isabelle Marie French and Jefferson Scott Chapeau in Holy matrimony…”

 

The doors flung open wide once again and a booming accented voice cut the priest off.

 

“Stop the wedding!”

 

All heads turned towards the source and despite it being the wrong nationality, Belle wondered for a moment if maybe Gold hadn’t given up like she had after all.

 

Instead, when she looked up, she found Carla de Vil strutting her way down the aisle. She was wearing a red dress, with a dalmatian shrug thrown over her shoulders. Belle had met her when she first began dating Gold and had sworn she had never met a judge with quite the flair for fashion. In that moment, however, all she could wonder was what she was doing there.

 

“Judge de Vil?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?”

“I went to file your divorce papers just as Gold asked me to, darling,” she replied. “However, just before I did, I noticed one thing both you and your lawyer must have overlooked.”

Jefferson cleared his throat, looking around at the crowd before down at his bride. “Belle, I thought you took care of this.”

“I did, I swear.”

“Obviously not,” Carla interrupted.

 

She pulled out the papers from her purse and shoved them in Belle’s face. Belle scanned the document quickly, seeing Gold’s signature.

 

“He signed the papers.”

“Yes, darling, he did. You didn’t.”

“What?”

Carla pointed a perfectly manicured finger to the red flag attached to the document. “See?”

 

Belle looked under Gold’s signature and felt the color drain her face. Next to wife’s name, the line was blank.

 

After 5 years of harassing him to sign it, of begging him to…she had never done it herself. How could she have forgotten to do that?

 

She looked back up at Carla, swallowing. “You mean…I’m still married?”

“Only if you want to be. If you sign these right now, I can file them so you can sign your new marriage license as soon as this is over.”

Jefferson tilted his head backwards. “Belle…”

“It’s an honest mistake,” Belle whispered, even though she knew it wasn’t. A mistake was forgetting your keys, she had promised him she was getting a divorce and now she was humiliating him.

“Then you can easily fix it, can’t you?”

 

His eyes were filled with the love he had shown her every day since they met now and that only made her feel guiltier. She passed her flowers off to Ruby and patted down her dress, feeling stupid after doing so.

 

“Does anybody have a pen?”

 

Everyone in the church jumped into action, checking pockets and purses. Suddenly, Emma stood up and walked over, her short black dress moving quickly behind her. She carefully handed Belle a pen that said “Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department” on it. She saw Belle’s flushed face and tilted her head.

 

“These things don’t just happen,” she whispered, before taking her seat.

Belle watched her in shock and saw her mother giving her a sympathetic look. “You can’t ride two horses with one behind,” she told her daughter.

 

Belle drew a deep breath and turned back to Carla, her right hand shaking. She slowly reached down and felt the tip of the pen touch the paper. Her heart skipped a beat as she thought back to her first wedding day, how happy she had felt. She thought about the heartbreak of leaving Gold behind, how she had told herself it was all for the best.

 

Looking out into the crowd once again, she saw so many happy couples. Emma and Neal, Mary Margaret and David, Ashley and Sean. Heck, standing beside her was a blossoming couple, Mulan and Ruby. They were all going to find their happy endings. They had gotten it right the first time.

 

There were people she knew that of course hadn’t. This would be both her and Jefferson’s second marriages. He had once told her that before her, he never imagined falling in love again. His first wife had been the love of his life, she had given him Grace and they had been so damn happy together.

 

Just like she had been happy with Gold.

 

Sure, they had their problems. He had been alcoholic and she couldn’t handle it. Things were different, now, though. He was sober, a better man. She felt like a better woman herself, after all of the changes that had happened in her life. She was successful, she had proven that she could make it on her own. The whole reason of wanting to accept Jefferson’s proposal was so that she didn’t have to anymore. She didn’t have to be alone, she had finally found someone to share the rest of her life with.

 

Except…she already had, all those years ago. She had found Gold. He made her happy, he filled her heart with such joy. The past few weeks with him, seeing the man he once was-maybe even better-showed her that she was never going to stop loving him.

 

She had tried to tell herself over and over again that it’d be okay. She loved Jefferson, but not in the way that a wife should love her husband. All that time she had worried about being in an unhappy marriage like her mother, when that’s what she was looking at. She knew Jefferson wasn’t her father. He’d never mistreat her, he’d always dote on her and love her. He’d give her everything she ever wanted.

 

Yet, he could never have her heart. Gold would always have that.

 

She couldn’t marry another man if that was still the case.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling the pen away from the paper. “I can’t do this.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys want smut? You're getting smut...

Belle looked up at Jefferson, who looked both confused while also not really at the same time. She took his hand into hers.

 

“You don’t want to marry me,” she said.

“I don’t?”

“You don’t. You see, I gave away my heart…my whole heart…a long time ago and I never really got it back.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I am so sorry.”

 

Jefferson stared at her for a moment, before a slow smile tugged across his lips. Belle took off her engagement ring and placed it in his palm, which he tucked into his jacket pocket. Jefferson reached forward and kissed her cheek.

 

“I just want you to be happy, Belle. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“I should’ve done this sooner, I should’ve realized…”

“Yes, but it’s okay. I’m gonna be okay.” He looked over at Grace, who was tilting her head at him. “We’re gonna be okay. Come on, Gracie. You can come with me to Hawaii. I know you’ve always wanted to go.”

 

Belle watched as Jefferson took Grace’s hand and lead her out of the church. She knew that it was going to take time for him to heal and she felt terrible for what she was doing to him, but she had to follow her heart.

 

She turned to look out at the crowd, who was staring at her as if to say “What now?” She took the veil out of her hair and shook it out, ruining the perfect do that Ariel had given her beforehand. She could hear Ariel make a hissing sound, giggling a bit. She’d make it up to her later.

 

“If you’re on the bride’s side, stick around, I’ve got to go get myself a groom,” she said.

 

As she started making her way back down the aisle, she realized something: she hadn’t driven to the church. They had Ubered over, expecting the limo to take her to the reception. She started trying to remember where she left her purse, when someone tapped her on the shoulder. Turning around, Belle found Emma standing there, putting a set of keys in her hand.

 

“You can borrow the bug,” she said. “Go get my father-in-law…mother-in-law.”

Belle grinned. “Thank you, Emma.”

 

She rushed out to the bug and pushed her dress inside, barely making the train inside. Her heels and skirt made it hard to maneuver the car, but she did it. Belle sped down Main Street and got to the pawn shop, only to find that it was closed. Her brow furrowing, she drove to Gold’s house, but he wasn’t there either.

 

“Where the hell are you, Sam?” She mumbled, stuffing the keys into the ignition yet again. She had been running into him for weeks and now the one time she wanted to find him…he was nowhere to be found.

 

Suddenly, she worried that he had left town. What reason would he have to stick around anymore? Sure, he had Neal, Emma and Henry, but before her he had been known for spontaneous trips. He could go wherever he wanted at the drop of a hat. What if she had missed him?

 

What if it was too late for them?

 

Belle quickly shook the thought from her mind. Gold had fought for her all those years, it was time for her to fight for him.

 

Thinking of one last place he could be, she drove to the woods. Parking right before the clearing, she hopped up, not even bothering to hold her train anymore. Rain softly began falling out of the sky, the dark clouds proving that a storm was coming. She didn’t care about that, she just had to reach the well.

 

Once she got through the final clearing, she found him there, tossing in a coin. She cleared her throat and he looked up, tilting his head.

 

“You look beautiful,” he said. “Where’s your groom?”

Belle smiled, kicking off her heels before taking a step forward to him, “Looking at him.”

Gold arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Turns out we’re still married.”

“That’s not possible.”

“After all that time of bugging you to sign the papers…I never did.”

Gold suddenly paled. “What?”

“You didn’t know when you gave the papers to Carla?”

“I just always assumed that you had.”

Belle shook her head. “So did I, but here we are.”

 

The rain continued falling hard, making the dirt beneath her stocking feet turn to mud. He grabbed her by the arm to try to pull her under the protection of the well, but it wasn’t doing much good. He took off his suit jacket and handed it to her. She slid it over her arms, allowing it to drape over her. She had forgotten how good it felt to wear one of his jackets, how much it made her feel like his and his alone.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you came to New York?” Belle asked.

“I told you, I had to make something of myself. Prove to you that I could be the husband you deserved.”

“You done, yet?”

 

Gold stared at her for a moment, before starting to walk away.

 

“What is it with you small town girls? Making a million wrong decisions before you make the right one?”

Belle huffed and chased after him, her train now covered in mud and leaves. “At least I fight for what I want!”

“And what do you want, Belle?” Gold demanded, whipping around. “I don’t even think that you know.”

“I want you! I want to be your wife! I want to spend the rest of our lives together, to try again and have more children.” The rain beat heavily down on her face, causing her makeup to run. She knew she had to look like an absolute mess in that moment. “I want to move back into that salmon house and make love to you in our bed. I want _you_ , all of you, all the time.”

Gold continued to stare at her, he wanted to say yes. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. Yet, he still wasn’t quite sure that he was what was right for her. “Maybe we had our chance.”

Her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms over her chest. “You’re a stubborn asshole, you know that?”

“Why do you want to be married to me anyway?”

 

She walked closer to him, their faces so close. The rain drenched his white dress shirt and she could see his chest beneath it. It took all she had to not rip it off him right then and there. She clenched his shirt, pulling him closer to her. Their lips were inches apart, she could feel his heavy breathing on her face.

 

“So I can kiss you anytime I want,” she whispered.

 

Her lips brushed against his and he gripped her waist, holding her as close as possible. He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into her mouth, wrapping against her own. This was different than their kiss there just a week prior, this one told both of them that neither would be going anywhere anytime soon. Not moving her lips from his, she began unbuttoning his shirt.

 

“Mmm…” He mumbled. “We’re going to catch death out here in this rain.”

“At least we’ll be together,” she whispered, going in for another kiss.

 

Before she could get another button, headlights shone through the dreary darkness. Their heads pulled apart, but their arms stayed around one another. Neal stepped out of the car, a huge smile falling across his face.

 

“Somehow I knew I’d find you two here,” he said.

“Son, we’re in the middle of something,” Gold told him.

“I can see that, but perhaps before you get pneumonia, you’d like to attend your reception first?”

 

Belle and Gold exchanged a look before laughing. They had waited 5 years, what was a few more hours?

* * *

Walking into Granny’s, Belle felt more at home than she had been in a while. The jukebox was playing Gonna Make You Love Me by Ryan Adams and all of her friends and family were there. Spread out on banquet tables were gumbo, fried green tomatoes, broiled shrimp and other comfort foods from Sabine’s truck. Granny had also put out the wedding cake, but ditched the topper that had been designed to look like Belle and Jefferson. Instead, the two robots from the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em game were put on top, which only made her laugh harder.

 

Neal stepped ahead of them, clapping his hands. “Ladies and gentlemen, making their reunited appearance, Mrs. and Mr. Sampson Gold!”

 

The diner erupted in applause and Gold pulled Belle closer to him, kissing her forehead. Everyone rushed forward, giving them congratulatory hugs. Belle noticed that Colette hugged her son-in-law tighter than usual and he kissed her cheek. She smiled at the two, they had certainly come quite a long way.

 

Granny spoke up from the jukebox. “I believe it’s time for the bride and groom’s first dance.”

 

Their clothes felt heavy from the rain and all Belle wanted was to get out of the dress, but the thought of dancing with her husband again made her forget all about it. He held out her hand and she accepted it, following him to the center of the room. She wrapped his arms around his neck, resting her forehead against his. Staring into his beautiful brown eyes, she felt content and at peace.

 

“Hey Granny,” she called out. “Make it a slow one.”

“Already ahead of you, sweetheart.”

 

She pressed some buttons on the jukebox and “Thank You For Loving Me” by Bon Jovi began to play. The two danced in the center of Granny’s, their eyes not leaving one another.

 

“Not too late to run back now,” Gold whispered.

“You’d have to chase me off with a stick, Mr. Gold.”

“Now, that sounds like fun…Mrs. Gold.”

* * *

 

The reception lasted long into the night. After their first dance, Gold and Belle headed into the bathroom to change into clothes that Emma and Neal had brought for them. They spent the rest of the evening in jeans and t-shirts, but it didn’t matter. They could barely keep their hands off one another, counting down the minutes until it’d all be over.

 

As soon as Granny announced that she was playing the last song, they got up and danced, feeling tired. When it ended, they headed outside into the damp evening. Gold’s Cadillac sat out front, with tin cans tied to it and a sign that read “Just Married.” Gold looked over at Neal, who shrugged and smirked.

 

“It was all Henry’s idea, he read it in a book.”

 

Gold rolled his eyes and opened the door for Belle. The two got in and drove the 15 minutes to the house. He lead her inside and turned to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

“Tired?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

“So…”

“Sam, it’s been 5 years. You are not getting out of tonight without fucking me.”

A smile tugged across his lips. As if I’d really want to.”

 

The two headed up the stairs and she kissed him again. They worked off their clothes, slowly, leaving themselves in their underwear only. She gently nudged him onto the bed and he pulled down her underwear with his pinky. He pushed her off of him and straddled her. First he kissed her stomach, then went lower and lower until his tongue was licking her clitoris. Belle moaned, gripping onto the navy blue pillow case.

 

“Fuck, Belle,” he whispered. “You still taste so good.”

 

He continued to lick her out and she let out a deeper moan.

 

“Not fair,” she groaned. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

“What is it you want?” He teased.

“Put yourself in me right now, Sampson Gold,” she demanded.

 

He chuckled and removed his underwear. Belle stared at his endowed penis, it was already so hard. When he straddled her, she braced herself and the moment he was inside of her, she let out a moan. She leaned forward, running her fingers through his hair as he pulled in and out of her.

  
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you feel so good, Sam! How are you this good after so long?”

“I’ve got you with me,” he groaned, feeling himself growing harder the wetter she got.

“Oh my God.”

 

She tossed her head back and he began kissing her neck, his arms snaked around her body. It was like riding a bike, they felt so good together.

 

“I can’t hold it in much longer,” he moaned. “I’ve barely been able to since I saw you in your dress.”

“Come for me, Sammy,” she commanded, letting the rare nickname she had for him. “Come for me.”

 

He came just as she orgasmed and she let out a prolonged moan. She had forgotten just how good it felt when that happened. The two fell onto the mattress, their chests heaving up and down. He traced around her bare breasts, they had always been on the bigger side, but pregnancy had made them even bigger. She had long since lost the weight, but the chest size hadn’t gone down at all.

 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he told her. “I’ve missed you so much, Belle.”

“Not half as much as I’ve missed you.” She gently kissed him. “There’s still a lot of stuff to work out.”

“I know, but do we really have to worry about it tonight? It’s our wedding night.”

“It can wait.” She snuggled deeper into his arms and looked over at his left hand. “You’re still wearing your wedding band.”

“I planned to take it off after I heard the wedding bells, but they never came.”

“Well, now you never have to.”

He noticed her own hand and frowned. “You seem to be missing yours, though.”

“I gave my ring back to Jefferson.”

 

Gold nodded, he had forgotten all about the man by then. He figured he was probably already in Hawaii, on a vacation with his daughter. As happy as he was to have Belle back, he felt for the man. He knew what it was like to lose her. He’d bounce back, though, no doubt. He was a handsome man and he had his daughter.

 

He got out of bed and Belle let out a whimper. He caressed her cheek, giving her a tiny kiss. “I’ll be right back, my love.”

 

Crossing the room to his closet, he threw open the doors and went behind a collection of suits that he no longer wore. It was the one place he knew he’d never accidentally find them, yet he could go look at them when needed. Grabbing the box, he headed back to Belle and laid beside her, taking her left hand. He flipped open the box and put on the engagement ring first, followed by the matching wedding band.

 

“There,” he whispered. “Back where they belong.”

“’And that’s where they’ll stay, forever.”

 

 


	11. Epilogue

_5 years later…_

Belle flipped the page in her newspaper and found the various announcements. She normally would’ve just skipped over the section, until a familiar name caught her eye.

 

_Jefferson Chapeau, costume designer to the stars, to wed Ursula Shells, daughter of New York City Mayor._

 

A smile tugged on her lips. She had kept in touch with Jefferson over the years, though things were obviously strained at first. Even though he just wanted her to be happy, it was hard to talk to the woman who left you at the altar. 3 years after the cancelled wedding, however, they ran into each other at an event and a casual friendship was struck. They’d never be best friends, but they were on better terms and he was happy, Grace was happy. It was all she could ask for.

 

“Darling, we’re going to be late.”

 

Belle looked up and found her husband standing there, a radiant smile on his face. She nodded and rose to her feet, rubbing her swollen baby bump as she did. Gold wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning his forehead against hers.

 

“And how is our little girl doing today?”

“Kicking like crazy, I swear she’ll be a soccer player just like her…”

“Mama!”

 

The sudden scream of her name caused Belle to turn around. Gideon stood there wearing a suit similar to his father’s, a rare but happy sight. She ruffled his hair and bent down to kiss the top of his head.

 

“Are we ready to go, Gid?”

“Uh huh.”

 

The family of three made their way to the car and Belle stared out the window as Gold drove to the center of town.

 

5 years ago, if someone had told her she’d go back to living in Storybrooke, she would’ve told them they were crazy. After getting back together with Gold, however, she knew there was no place she’d rather be. They had discussed moving to New York, but she knew it wasn’t what she wanted. Storybrooke was home, Storybrooke was where she had fallen in love. It was where their family was.

 

They weren’t fools to think that things would just go back to being perfect. They went on a small honeymoon after the wedding reception, Gold getting an extra ticket for Scotland. Afterwards, they started having sessions with Dr. Hopper. He helped them work on their marriage now that they were ready to fight for it. It wasn’t easy and at times, resentments popped up, but they could talk about them now. There was no more turning to alcohol or running away, they were going to face their struggles head on.

 

It had been a year and a half after their reunion that Belle discovered she was pregnant again. They hadn’t been actively preventing it, but she had long since accepted that motherhood wasn’t in the cards for her. It had taken them so long to get pregnant with Nellie and that clearly wasn’t meant to be. Apparently, the universe had other plans. Gideon Edmund Gold was born exactly on his due date and instantly became the light of not only Gold and Belle’s lives, but those around them.

 

Belle got to witness firsthand just how good a father Gold was. He was attentive, doting. It was clear at times that she’d have to be the “bad cop”, but she didn’t mind it. They had found a rhythm and it made her happier than she ever thought.

 

Shortly before Gideon’s third birthday, Belle mentioned wanting to make him a big brother. They were prepared for it to take some time again, but much to their surprise, they found out they were expecting their current miracle just a few weeks after he blew out the candles. Five months later, they discovered they were having another little girl. It was bittersweet, to think of Nellie as a big sister, to think of what she’d be like at 10 years old. Belle had learned a long time ago, however, to live in the present. Nellie would always live in their hearts, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t move on.

 

Gold pulled up at “Beauty and the Books”, the shop that Belle had opened shortly after moving back to Storybrooke. The town had a library, but was desperately lacking a bookstore and he had helped her develop it. He took her hand and kissed it.

 

“Ready, my love?”

“As I’ll ever be,”

 

The three of them made their way into the shop and said hello to everyone they passed. They made it to the back of the shop, where chairs had been set up near a makeshift stage. A poster for Belle’s latest book was up there, her face next to it. She had published one book a little before she got pregnant with Gideon and then had taken some time to focus on her family, her shop. The idea for this book came after much convincing from Gold, Ariel and her publisher. She didn’t think that people wanted an update to Lacey and Rumford’s lives, but clearly they did.

 

 _Ever After_ showed the two getting the happy ending they deserved, even if they had to fight for it. Once again closely inspired by true events, the book meant a great deal to her and she worried about it bombing. To her surprise, however, it didn’t. People were so excited to see just what happened to the couple that couldn’t make it work.

 

Belle scanned the crowd, looking out at everyone. Ruby and Mulan were in the front row, holding hands. The two started a long distance relationship after Mulan had to return to New York, but that only lasted a year before she was making the move to Storybrooke. They married 2 years after that and were Gideon’s godparents. Belle had worried that Mulan would resent her for hurting her best friend, but she really was happy for her.

 

Colette wasn’t too far away from them, already taking pictures of her daughter. Moe had died 6 months after the wedding, alcohol taking a toll on his liver. At first, Colette hadn’t been sure what to do. She had spent over 30 years devoted to the man, despite not being in love. Belle and Gold were there for her, suggesting she talk to Archie. After working for Belle at her shop for a bit, Colette had saved enough to reopen Game of Thorns. She was a doting grandmother and supportive mother-in-law. She had even recently begun to start dating the town’s carpenter, Marco.

 

“It’s time, my love,” Gold whispered in Belle’s ear. “Everyone’s here.”

“Thank you,” she replied, softly.

“For what?”

“Everything.” She turned to him, cupping his cheek. “What would I do without you?”

“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to know, sweetheart.”

 

He kissed her gently and then carefully nudged her towards the table. He stood back, watching her sign books with pride. In the crowd, he could spot his own friends and family. Emma and Neal were in line with Henry, who was finally old enough to read his grandmother’s books. They had added to their family as well over the years (finally giving Gold a granddaughter), making Gideon younger than his niece and nephew, but they didn’t mind.

 

Rogers had brought Alice along, she and Belle had hit off like wildfire. Gold was nearly 10 years sober and he knew he had Rogers to thank for it. He had been there for him, to show him that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

There were days he thought about what his life would’ve been like, had he never stopped drinking. He would’ve lost Belle, but there was more than that. He would’ve lost the life they were meant to have together. He never took a moment for granted anymore, loving his family more than life itself.

 

As the line dwindled down, he couldn’t help but take Belle in. She was wearing a beautiful white linen dress and as nice as it was, he couldn’t wait to get her out of it.

 

The last person had their book signed and Belle thanked the crowd, offering them to stay to enjoy some coffee or tea and pastries. As she turned to her husband to ask how it went, he pulled her closer, his breath on her ear causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up.

 

“Think we could disappear for a few moments?”

 

Belle grinned, looking out into the crowd. Gideon was distracted by Henry, they were home clear.

 

“The break room has a couch.”

“And a lock?”

“Of course.”

 

They laced their fingers together, making a mad dash for the break room.

 

_Fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus we come to an end of their story. I hope you all enjoyed it and thank you for reviewing, sharing, etc. :)


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